MINIMALLY INVESTED: STORIES FROM A PERSONAL BANKER

By: Joe Smith -- 2/9/05

A Starry-Eyed Strategy Session

A few weeks ago an auditor was at my branch to make sure we were adhering to all government and bank regulations. I was sitting at my desk, staring blankly at my computer screen, when the auditor asked me, "What are you so deep in thought about?”  I said, "Dreaming up ways to embezzle money from the bank.” My boss came into my office a few minutes later to tell me that she appreciates my sense of humor but an auditor might not be the best person to joke with.

Don't Listen to Me, I'm Just Your Banker

ME: Ma'am, by simply changing the name of your savings account, you could earn $1,000/year in interest. 

CUSTOMER: Well…I’d like things to stay the same.

ME: Everything but the name of the account and the interest rate stay the same. Your minimum balance is the same, access to the account remains the same and there are still no fees. The only difference you'll notice is that instead of $10/month interest you'll make $95/month. 

CUSTOMER: No, I don't like change. Keep it the same.

ME: Okay….

ME: Sir, the average balance in your free checking account has been over $300,000 for the past year. Have you spoken to anyone about putting part of that money into a savings account? You could earn about $500/month in our Premium Savings account. In less than five minutes, we could have that done. 

CUSTOMER: Nah, I’m busy and I like the way I do things. 

ME: Let me do this. I will set up the account and next time you stop in, all you have to do is make a transfer and you are on your way to getting $500/month free from the bank. 

CUSTOMER: I don't want to.

Ranches Now Accept Plastic

John Fargo and his son Sam visited the bank in August of 2004 prior to Sam leaving for college at UNLV. John seemed to be a very controlling father and quickly told me of the plans he had for Sam’s accounts while at college. Here is the plan that John laid out:

Checking Account: To always be kept at a zero balance until John transferred money for school- related expenses into it. John would transfer the exact amount necessary for bills (rent, books, etc.) so Sam could write checks.

Savings Account: To keep Sam’s summer job earnings. This was to be used by Sam for his spending/leisure money.

Debit Card/Cash Card: The cash card was to be used only at ATMs, and only to withdraw money from the savings account. To never be used as a check card since the checking account maintained a zero balance.

Visa Card: To be used in emergency situations only.

This was a fairly detailed plan, but Sam seemed to grasp what his Dad was trying to implement: never use the checking account unless approved by Dad.

About a month after school started I received a phone call from John. It seemed Sam’s checking account had been overdrawn by about $100. John seemed frustrated and suggested a mistake had been made by the bank. I calmly pulled up Sam’s account on my computer and looked at the transaction history. I quickly discovered the problem and reported it to John: “Your son used his check card at a place called The Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas.” John gruffly apologized and mentioned something about Sam having some explaining to do before hanging up the phone.

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