RW/RR CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEXES 2

Week four: The fury of Ayanna

The latest episode of Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes 2 occurred two days ago, less than 12 hours before the polls opened. I voted 14 hours later, proudly stamping my “I Voted” sticker on my jacket before heading to the office. 27 hours after episode four of the RW/RR Challenge I sat on my couch in dazed disbelief, desperately trying to hold back tears while I deluded myself into believing that the election didn’t matter anyway.

I should have written this recap Monday night, when my mood was still sunny, rather than now, when all I feel is absolute disappointment. However, I suspect you aren’t interested in bellyaching.

The Challenge: Bombs Away
We are introduced to the challenge only three minutes into the episode. The minimal introductory plot building traditionally points towards a lengthy and complex mission, and this week is no different. Bombs Away is a two-part challenge.

The first stage is an eating contest. There are seven flights of speed eating, each team sending a pair of contestants in an attempt to consume the food the quickest. Examples of food include garlic cloves and onions, hot sauce, peanut butter, wasabe, margarine, mayonnaise and cow brains. Any contestant who pukes before they finish is rewarded with a disqualification, but on the flip side they probably won’t gain ten pounds in one afternoon and/or spend the evening on the toilet.

On the women’s side, Tonya is again a star, swallowing her wasabe like an old pro. Abram pukes, and the gross-out factor is maximized as he puts his hand over his mouth while puking, hoping no one will see. Unfortunately for him, his strategy resulted in vomit flying in every direction, like a garden hose with a thumb between the flowing water.

Each winning pair then moves on to stage two, which involves fetching puzzle pieces, running down a long balance beam and correctly placing them on the board. The team with the most stage one winners is at a huge advantage in that they can transport faster. The men had nine people move on to stage two, the women six.

Stage two is ultimately uneventful, as the men win while the women engage in a flurry of emotional outbursts. Ayanna, one of the team leaders, gets especially upset. Anyone who’s seen her temper tantrums knows not to flip the channel when she gets angry.

The men, winners of each of the first four missions, have a difficult time deciding who to eliminate. The two finalists are Mike and Abram.

The Ceremony
Abe is eventually voted off; most likely because of the little known clause that states The Miz is required by law to remain until the finals.

In an odd reversal of roles, the women have an easy time deciding which team leader to send home. Ayanna is given her pink slip, but she wants to say a few words to her teammates. “I slept in my uniform last night because I wanted to win today!” She spat this at her teammates while violently sobbing. “All I needed was eight of y’all to have my back, but that didn’t happen!”

Ayanna’s form of insanity makes for deeply gripping television. In a fitting goodbye, we see Ayanna angrily walk away from the ranch while toting her suitcase above her shoulders, though it is clearly equipped with wheels.

Episode four ends with Abram and Coral saying their tearful goodbyes. Abe is required to leave the premises while Coral gets to stick around to make empty threats to anyone who will listen. As we watch these two passionate lovebirds cry into each other’s arms while whispering sweet words of love as the sun gives way to a starry night, one question comes to mind: Is this the same guy that just recently had a threesome with Veronica and Rachel? Ah… true love.

Scenes from next week: It seems both Angela and Tina are also crazy.

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