TREADING WATERS OF MEDIOCRITY

By: B

Talk about potential. With its strong marketing budget and enticing trailer, Saved!, the new film from director Brian Dannelly, has all the makings of a successful movie. But what could have -- and should have -- been a quality religious satire turned out to be a lazy Hollywood yawn-fest posing as a dark comedy.

Saved! tells the story of Mary (Jena Malone), a Christian high schooler who seems to have everything. She runs with the popular crowd, namely the super-popular Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore), and has a good Christian boyfriend, Dean. Everything changes in the summer before her senior year of high school. Dean tells Mary he might be gay, so Mary offers up her virginity to help convert him. After Dean is sent away to a "degayification" center, Mary realizes she is pregnant. Dealing with the righteous Hilary Faye, her single and borderline-Christian mother, and everyone at her school, Mary finds solace in the school's two outcasts: Cassandra (Eva Murri) and Roland (Macauley Culkin! Seriously!). There is a love interest in Patrick (Patrick Fugit), the son of the school principal.

The storyline offers a ripe setting for shots at nearly every demographic, but is only partly successful. The characters are certainly unique, or at least trying to be, and the story is fresh and ambitious. The first half of the film was enjoyable, setting up the complicated scene and abundance of main characters. However, the movie only goes downhill from there, slowly turning every character into a cliché. It seems as if the screenwriter was only halfway finished with a quality movie before he was rushed into completion.

The result is a watered down film compared to what it could have been. Given the subject matter-- teen pregnancy, homosexuality and the hypocritical air of the church- Saved! is little more than a medley of Coming of Age Film 101 and Standard Romantic Comedy.

The acting was far below average. Macauley Culkin offered no personality or uniqueness to a role, acting somewhat like Billy from Melrose Place- a hollow reciting of lines with almost no reaction whatsoever. Jena Malone and Mandy Moore, while obviously not given much to work with in terms of script, also are average as the leads. Malone is charming, but seems to have difficulty committing to emotional scenes.

The most disappointing aspect is the predictability of the film. The road map was in place in the first 20 minutes and did not once exit the path throughout its duration. Bathroom breaks will go unpunished.

There is a funny scene featured in most trailers that shows Hilary Faye throwing her Bible at Mary while rudely saying, "I am filled with God's love!" This irony-laced joke works well, which is the main reason it is seen in trailers. But here is what happens next: Mary picks up the Bible from the ground and hands it to Hilary Faye, scolding, "The Bible is not a weapon" before turning around coolly and running home.

Well, we all know the Bible isn't supposed to be a weapon. That is what made the last sequence funny. In explaining why the joke before was funny, it was so unfunny it made me regret the slight chuckle I had emitted just moments before.

This is the entire movie. What could have been a clever, spot-on satire became an overblown Hollywood movie, dumbed-down for the masses. I am not dumb, and I don't enjoy such obvious films. It starts out right, and we are all hoping for it to succeed, but it merely entertains. Saved! may have been a quality script at one time, but the finished product is a clichéd insult of the viewers' intelligence: fairly enjoyable but hopelessly obvious.

POP RATING: 6

CRITICAL RATING: 3.5

B'S RATING: 4.5

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