OPEN MIC ARCHIVE: APR-DEC 2004December 30. Things you likely don't care about Three things you should know about this website regarding the new year: 1. The WoB will begin reviewing films recently released to DVD. This is because B is both poor and lazy, which unfortunately means he gets to very few movies at the cinema. He still enjoys watching and reviewing movies, however, so DVDs just make more sense (fyi: he still hopes to get to the cinema at least once a week). 2. The RW/RR Challenge column has been cancelled. Why, you ask? Because the current season is lame. You didn't have fun reading about it, B didn't have fun writing about it, so the entire venture has been 86ed. You're welcome. 3. Taking a rare cue from the British, the WoB will hereby refer to seeing new movies at the cinema, rather than the theater. The theater is for plays and musicals and such, and B hates the theater. He loves the cinema, however, with the popcorn and sticky floors and whatnot, so he felt a need to differentiate between the two. Cinema = good. Theater = bad.
December 29. New host site Check out this video from the South Park guys. Not for fan's of people who don't like the F word. Hilarious for everyone else.
December 22. Would God be mad if I came to church wearing face paint? The Going to Church vs. Watching the Vikings Game debate is getting nastier by the day. No family will admit they’ve had the argument, but they all have. I’d be interested in going to a midnight mass service just to see how many men in attendance are still drunk from partying during the Vikes game. A rough estimate: 1 in 5.
December 21. Holiday crunch time So there are three days until the eve of Jesus' alleged birthday -- crunch time for all Christian men in America. None of us are done with our shopping, none of us have any valid ideas. But have no fear -- B is offering two tips for last minute shopping: Band t-shirts: The greatest gifts, according to B, involve something the receiver digs but would never buy him or herself. Band t-shirts are perfect in this capacity. No one buys these things for no reason, yet everyone enjoys them. Buy a band t-shirt for a friend today if you care about being original. The choice is yours. Glomitts: This product describes the hybrid between gloves and mittens, which means it's a fingerless glove with an optional mitten overlay. These are historically ideal for only hunters and smokers, but for holiday season 2004, glomitts are also appropriate for: people who drive, people who use credit cards at convenience stores, photographers, writers, joggers, those who listen to CDs in their car, those who use keys, those with i-Pods, urban hipsters, college students and generally anyone who enjoys using their hands while simultaneously keeping warm. Why would you not buy a pair for every male on your list?
December 20. Los Angeles, I'm Yours: volume 3 While I was having dinner with pals last week, my friend Annette suggested a great dieting tip. Say you're done with your dinner. You're full and have had enough, but if this dinner sits in front of you long enough, you'll start poking at it and eating more. You should not be doing this! You are full and have had enough to eat! Answer: salt your meal. Take the salt shaker and apply enough salt to make your meal resemble the first frost of the season. Apply enough salt to wholly cover your food, to make the most appetizing meals inflict nausea upon a simple glance. Eating another bite of your meal will not even be an option. A half hour later, when you realize you were full all along, thank Annette.
December 17. Los Angeles, I'm Yours: volume 2 My friend, who has been working in the movie industry for the better part of a decade, told me the three nicest actors are Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and George Clooney (in no particular order). I know this means absolutely nothing, but if you're going to root for an actor to succeed, root for one of these three.
December 16. Los Angeles, I'm Yours: volume 1 On my recent trip to the City of Angels I ran into Cedric Yarbrough, who plays Deputy Jones on the hilarious Reno 911. He told me they are planning on making at least two more seasons of it, which is wonderful news because Reno is one of B's favorite shows.
December 15. Wisdom from the Sports Guy "Anyway, we ended up waiting in a maddeningly long line to get into Rain, one of those 21st century clubs where you can freak dance, pop Ecstasy pills like Pez and order rohypnol daiquiris. Why couldn't they have had these places when I was in my early-20s? Why did I miss out on the whole "Girls dress like hookers and act like them, too" era? Somehow my prime was sandwiched between the late-'70s (Disco Era, drugs and free love) and the early-'00s (no clothes, designer drugs, tons of sex). I had the late-'80s and early-'90s, when girls wore baggy sweaters to cover their rear ends, drugs were evil and everyone was terrified of AIDS. Really, really, really bad times. Ten years either way and I could have been prominently involved. It's haunting." -Bill Simmons, in his 2002 diary on his trip to Vegas
December 5. Nerve-grating ignorance A recent report by Rep. Henry Waxman has asserted that the abstinence programs being taught in our public schools are misleading and medically inaccurate. Abstinence programs will receive an astounding $170 million next year from the federal government, which is, as the report says, “more than double what the government was spending when Bush took office in 2001.” Numerous studies have shown that teaching abstinence is ineffective, and I believe I speak for every level-headed, bipartisan, logical American when I say… no shit! The raging hormones of teenagers will not be suppressed by a worksheet handed out by their gym teacher – but what really makes this despicable is that these worksheets are filled with out-and-out lies. Education should always trump personal beliefs, but leave it to our government to once again choose faith over logic. If there is one thing I despise about the current administration, it is President Bush’s desperate need to infuse his moral agenda into public policy (he once declared June 10 as “Jesus Day” in Texas). Religion is a deeply personal thing, and it does have an important role in our culture, but it so obviously has no place in politics. The very foundation of this country was based upon the separation of church and state. That separation is currently being obliterated by this administration. How many votes would Bush have gotten were he a Jehovah’s Witness or Atheist? If this country were on the right path, his vote total would have been the same no matter his religion. This recent issue of faulty abstinence programs just scratches the surface of a much deeper problem in this country.
December 3. Why, I never... Reports have emerged that prove Jason Giambi and Barry Bonds have taken steroids. I haven't been this shocked since Elton John went on record to say he supports gay marriage.
December 2. A heartwarming video for the whole family You will surely like this clip
December 1. Theories of B Here’s the thing about adding ice cubes to your drink: you have to either use a lot, or use none at all. Dropping just a few cubes in your cup will quickly water down your beverage, making for a rather disappointing drinking experience. The problem is that using too few cubes won’t allow for them to take control of the temperature. The ice will be fighting the warm beverage for control, the result a slow and destructive transition to semi-coldness. Sure, the ice will often win the battle, but not before noticeable losses are felt – some cubes are usually forced into water before their time. Using ample ice cubes will quickly prove to the warm liquid that the cubes were brought in to dominate, that they’re going to make this drink ice cold in a matter of seconds and that, more importantly, no cubes will be compromised in the interim. So if you don’t want your beverage watered-down, either play aggressive with your cubes or don’t use any at all – adding too few cubes will only prove to be an untasty and unnecessary sacrifice. How’s that for a pointless diatribe?
November 28. Universal truths, #4 You know your apartment is small if you can vacuum the entire place using only one outlet.
November 27. Feeling fat? Well, have you tried drinking your own pee? An actual movie from Mad Dog Films: "URINE: GOOD HEALTH is an hour-long documentary about urine therapy. This unconventional and controversial practice, which involves the use of one's own urine for health benefits, has been employed throughout history by people around the world and is one of the oldest modalities of health care. The proponents of urine therapy generally advocate the use of one's own urine in many forms and for many purposes. Whether taken orally, dropped in the eyes or ears, used topically or injected, it is claimed that urine is the cure for many maladies including AIDS, cancer, asthma, arthritis and glaucoma, among others. Urine therapy is also used for skin care, health maintenance and as a dietary supplement. While mainstream medicine has rejected the claims of the urine drinkers, pharmaceutical companies and scientists are profiting from the use of urine and its individual components in their research and development. The proteins, enzymes and other materials occurring naturally in urine are being used in various ways, including the production of life saving drugs and dietary supplements as well as for non-invasive tests for the detection of diseases. This documentary objectively explores the claims of the users and proponents of urine therapy and the views of some of the world's preeminent doctors and researchers regarding the medicinal uses of urine."
November 24. These are the types of things that anger me With the “I Love the 19X0’s” series, VH1 seems to have a firm grasp on the pop culture happenings of yesteryear. Why then, would they showcase the inexplicable Zubaz trend as occurring in 1996? Does anyone at VH1 have a clue? My neighborhood buddy owned at least 15 pairs as far back as 1991 (mostly NFL-themed), and I can state this as a fact. I’d let it go if VH1 missed by, say one year, but five? Five? Unacceptable.
November 22. Let the madness begin Here is the clearest explanation of the Republican Party's proposed "DeLay Rule," written in New Hampshire's Union Leader newspaper. This is so blatantly unethical on so many levels that it's a shame more Americans aren't talking about it.
November 22. Favorite link Two of my favorite excerpts from Zach Braff's blog: 1.) "I really enjoy washing my car in those "pull your car into the stall and rent our water, hose, brush and vacuum" places. I don't know why, but there's something very cathartic about it. If you've never tried it, give it a try. I recommend going alone, cause if you go with someone else, you're gonna be all in your head if it's someone from the opposite sex about whether or not you should go for the "slow-motion chewing gum commercial moment" and spray them with the hose. So go with someone of the same sex. Unless your gay, then you're stuck with the hose problem again. (no pun intended) Hmmm. Fuck it, just go alone. Why do you always have to do things with other people; being alone is refreshing. Washing your own car allows you to quiet your mind for 10 minutes (or more if you have enough quarters). I saw an odd thing while there today. A guy was BLASTING the song "Lean Back" by Fat Joe from his radio right beneath an enormous sign that says, "Please Be Respectful: No Loud Music". And the guy who works there walks up to the guy and very politely asks him to turn it down. The guy just shook his head "no". And he did it really casually too. As though someone had asked him if he'd like more coffee or if he swings. As if to say, "No thank you, that request doesn't fit my needs today." I felt so bad for the "guy who asks people to turn down their music when it's too loud" guy. I mean; that's pretty much his only function. It must be hard for him to go home and tell his kids about what I imagine he's referring to as the "Fat Joe: Lean Back" incident. Every time he's out now and hears "Lean Back" he'll immediately get all pissed off. And while all his friends are dancing in the club and yelling over the music, "Hey Juan or Bob or Reggie (no idea what race he was) why aren't you leaning back like the rest of us? It's a really easy dance, all you have to do is lean back. Don't be shy, it's not nearly as complicated as the Macarana, the Humpty dance or the Hora." And he'll go home alone that night cause he was in too bad a mood to spit magic at the ladies and find his kids a step-baby's momma. " 2.) "Individual Questions:
November 19. Contributing writer, part deux Rich M. allowed me to post this contribution, which is a reaction to the piece by Brian Lucas (see below). Please don't compare these two articles to the rest of the WoB-- they are much too smart for that. Like many, I've been trying to understand what happened Tuesday, and the discussion among this group has truly helped - so thanks for that.
My thoughts, for whatever they are worth, are: * This was not a Dukakis or McGovern type loss for the Democrats. Kerry was not the wrong choice as a candidate; or to put it another way, I do not think Edwards, Dean, Clark or any of the others could have done better. The Republicans played the politics of the campaign brilliantly (gritting my teeth, I have to admit that Karl Rove may really be as smart as he's cracked up to be), and in addition mobilized their supporters as effectively as the Democrats. The Democrats have traditionally played the "ground game" better than Republicans, but not this time, and that may be the enduring legacy of 2004 for the political operatives on both sides. * The corollary of the first point is that the Democrats cannot, as in 2000, claim that Bush "stole" the election, or that a bad candidate fumbled it away. This time, the Democratic Party simply lost. The loss is a fact which needs to be faced, and treated as an event from which to learn. David Adams once pointed out that (a) like many other species, humans learn from their own mistakes, but (b) humans are the only species capable of learning from the mistakes of others - but are utterly unwilling to do so. If Adams (the author of THE HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY) was right, the Democrats will learn from 2004 and the Republicans will not. Given how close the election turned out to be, even a slightly smarter Democratic party can win next time. * I have voted in Presidential elections since 1968. In every case it has turned out that issues arising afterwards and not discussed, or barely discussed, in the election itself have determined the fate of the President. Lyndon Johnson was the "peace candidate" in 1964 (Viet Nam was a small cloud on the political horizon). The Watergate break in was known in 1972, but not the cover-up - McGovern never accused Nixon of that during the campaign. Neither Ford nor Carter foresaw the revolution in Iran. Bob Dole never mentioned Monica Lewinsky. 2004 may be different because Iraq probably will be an issue for the next several years, but perhaps more important, even though Kerry never raised the issue, Bush's economic and financial policies are resulting in rising deficits with concurrent rising interest rates. A rise in interest rates, by itself, will choke mortgage refinancing, increase the cost of credit card debt and slow both consumer spending and capital spending by businesses. The effect of higher interest rates will be compounded by rising energy costs, which will divert consumer and business spending from other things. Since we are now in an economy very dependent on healthy consumer spending, the consequences will be stagnation or recession. In short, Bush and the Republican majorities are likely to reap what their fiscal irresponsibility, energy policy and foreign policy have sown - an economy that offers the Democrats a weapon with which to beat them in 2008. * History also tells us that re-elected presidents and parties who believe they have a "mandate" usually overreach. Johnson and Democrats did it, Nixon did it, Newt Gingrich did it, and I do not for a minute believe that Tom Delay and George Bush can resist the temptation. In fact, George Bush is already talking about spending his "political capital." They will will do things that make the deficits worse, cause interest rates to continue to rise, widen the gap between rich and poor, and drive the cost of health care even higher. The tax cuts will not be repealed, and may instead be expanded. "Privatizing" Social Security will change none of that. * The Republican Party as a whole, and certainly the principal architects of its policies, do not care about economic issues other than the illusion of privatizing Social Security and cutting taxes. Instead they will focus on the "wedge issues" which they believe won the election for them - so assume the Right Wing moral values agenda gets implemented: gay marriage is prohibited, women's right to choose restricted, individual rights curtailed, the separation of church and state eroded (not one of those things provides a job, keeps family incomes ahead of inflation or cures the sick). At some point, the Republicans' moral values issues will become largely irrelevant as economic survival becomes the principal concern of more and more voters. I am assuming, of course, that the tax cuts do not revitalize the economy. Also, please do not think that because I think the Republicans will implement their "moral values" agenda, I think there is anything right or even moral about it - I just think they will do it. The reality of American politics is that stupidity gets rewarded if you package it right - but only temporarily. Democrats need to stay focused on preserving and increasing their voter base, need to figure out what issues can and will appeal to the majority in 2008 (obviously I think those issues will be economic), and most of all, need to keep in mind the story of the Exodus as told in the Bible. At the point that the Jewish people reached the shore of the Red Sea, they had the Red Sea (seemingly impassable) in front of them and Pharoah's army coming up behind them (remember Yule Brynner in his chariot with a grim expression?). Moses said "fear not." God, however, said something different - "Let not your fear overcome you." The people had every reason to be in fear, given their situation - Moses somewhat foolishly attempted to persuade them to deny their fear. God, on the other hand, recognized and acknowledged their fear, but commanded that they overcome it. God commanded that the Jews "go forward" (or "walk on" in some translations) despite their fear, and opened the Red Sea for them when they obeyed. The brave are not those without fear, but those capable of acting despite it. And yes, it requires faith. I have faith in liberalism (small "l"), compassion, tolerance, internationalism and fiscal prudence. I have faith in the arrogance and short-sightedness of Right Wing Republicans (which excludes the "moderate" Republicans). I have faith that a majority of American voters will regret re-electing George Bush. I have faith that the Democratic Party has the resources to think through and implement a way of regaining an electoral majority. I am not certain that it will, but I am sure that it can. Rich M.
PS - I also have faith that John Le Carre will someday will the Nobel Prize for Literature.
November 17. Contributing writer Brian Lucas wrote the following reaction to the recent election. This so perfectly encapsulates my feelings that I felt no need to create an article of my own. Enjoy, and feel free to submit your reaction for possible publication. Election Night - Reflection There was a point at around midnight on election night when I came to a startling and extremely uncomfortable realization: my country and I no longer share the same values. I watched the vote tallies, particularly the popular vote numbers, in disbelief. After four years of lies, corruption, incompetence and what I consider to be moral bankruptcy, Bush was not being tossed out on his ear... he was being handed a mandate for more of the same. I've always operated under a confidence deep in my heart that most Americans share my values. That if I could just sit down and talk to them... show them the reality of what the republicans are doing to this country... I could reach them and they would do the right thing. This confidence also played into my firmly held belief that voter turnout will ALWAYS benefit my candidate. The more we can move people from the roles of the apathetic and disenfranchised, the more we will see America move to the values that I hold so strongly - social justice, opportunity, tolerance. As I heard reports of long lines at the polls and record voter turnout, I assumed it was going to be a banner day for Kerry/Edwards. We were rising up and saying "enough" to an administration that had in essence committed a bloodless coup on our democracy. An administration that was bankrupting us financially, morally and spiritually. An administration that had single handedly placed America's place as history's most successful political role model in jeopardy. I was proud as I went to the polls with my family. Democracy was working. Then I saw the popular vote. The polls were showing strange paradoxes: o Legions of poor and middle class voters casting their ballots in favor of tax cuts for the rich... even as many upper class voters weighed in against them. o People of deep religious faith voting in favor of a man who lied and sent men and women off to kill and be killed in Iraq for no legitimate reason. The explanation being given for Bush's victory was simple: Moral Values. That's when it hit me. My definition of moral values is officially the minority view in America. The majority of Americans define moral values as being pro-life, pro-gun, and anti-gay. I see these positions as immoral. I heard James Carville say that the Democratic Party needs to do some soul searching to try to figure out how to make some significant changes to try to win back the American people. I'm usually an optimist. I usually feel like we can reach out and win if we can just cut through the clutter and deliver the truth to people. But if the majority of Americans have values that are opposed to mine, what can I do? I'm not going to become pro-life just to try to win votes. I'm not going to discriminate against gays, or any other minority. I can't become pro-gun. All of a sudden... for the first time in my life... I feel politically lost. I feel like I'm out of touch. America is not the America that I thought it was. We have become not just a religious state... we've become a fundamentalist state. Americans no longer believe that we need to respect those with different views and beliefs. We actually think it is our mission to spread specific sets of values across the country and across the globe. I know I can't give up. I know there are passionate people out there who share my values and are already working to figure out a way out of this mess. We don't have a choice. And as the shock of the election fades, I hope to once again feel that flicker of a flame deep down inside of me... the belief that America just got duped. And if we can just get people to open their eyes and see the truth we can get things back on track. I hope I get that feeling back... but right now, I can't help but think that America didn't get duped... we got just what we wanted... and my hope for what this country can become is being washed away by the will of a new majority.
November 15. A misunderstood genius, or maybe just one crazy Bastard R.I.P Ol' Dirty Bastard, who once came up with this nugget in "Got Your Money": "I ain't got a problem with you f***ing me,
November 13. I totally don't think this way, but... This angry diatribe has quickly spread through inboxes around America, and though it's very mean-spirited and unfair, there is a lot of truth to it. Right?
November 11. Is it dusty in here? Maybe it's my allergies... Worldofb.com is one year old today! Looking back, your first two articles (a Strokes album review and Lost in Translation movie review), each written in about a half hour just to add content, really sucked. Let's hope this year brings on more stability, more content, more reader mail and maybe, just maybe, t-shirts.
November 10. Guilty pleasure
This picture is funny in an uneasy sort of way. While the depiction is obviously silly, it’s difficult to ignore the premise on which it is based. The chasm between the two ideologies is growing daily, and with continued violence in Iraq and upcoming cabinet and policy changes, there is no telling when this severe polarization will decrease. I have no solution.
November 8. Cement boots
November 7. Must-see TV, according to the WoB
November 6. Quick peeks at six new trailers seen by B at the theater: Ocean’s Twelve: Though Ocean’s Eleven was a slick, smart film, I was instantly apprehensive when I heard they were shooting a sequel. There was no reason for a second installment, which led me to the obvious conclusion that this is the standard attempt to extract money from fans of the first film. The trailer does nothing to sway this thought. Twelve seems to have the same smooth, detached attitude as the first, but none of the punch. Every joke misses and the plot seems silly. Hope for a winner, but proceed with caution. Coach Carter: Chances are very slim that this film will be even slightly memorable. Here’s the gist: a school hires a tough new basketball coach to turn around its terrible program. The teacher faces challenges by the students, the parents and the community, but he turns the team around and makes them winners not only on the court, but in life as well. Coach Carter should go straight to the Saturday morning TBS slot. After the Sunset: Is this already in the theatres? I don’t know, because I refuse to research any of these films: these predictions are based strictly on the trailers alone. In After the Sunset, a jewel thief (Pierce Brosnan) and his girl (Salma Hayek) retire and move to paradise after numerous successful heists. An FBI agent tracks them down, but a simple arrest isn’t so simple. This looks to be a stylish action film for fans of the genre, but is probably too shallow to generate interest from the critical folk. The Aviator: This biopic about Howard Hughes is highly anticipated, mainly because it’s directed by Martin Scorcese. Though the film doesn’t give away much of the story, a few points can be ascertained: 1.) Leo DiCaprio’s portrayal of Hughes looks rich and convincing, and 2.) This film seems a lot less heavy than Scorcese’s last film, Gangs of New York. I’m going to see this movie. Meet the Fockers: I liked the first film, but it was nowhere near one of my favorite comedies. It was completely over the top while simultaneously trying to be genuine and heartfelt. You can make a silly slapstick comedy, and you can make a romantic comedy, but you can’t do both at the same time. Meet the Parents attempted to do exactly that, and Meet the Fockers promptly follows in line. Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand play the Fockers, a pair of new-age hippies with no apparent manners or social skills. The trailer basically amounts to three minutes of over-the-top crap, but I suspect this sequel will have a heyday at the box office. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason: This is a sequel to the 2001 romantic comedy. The plot here again seems fairly similar, with Bridget again faced with the task of choosing between the Sure Thing (Colin Firth) and Mr. Right Now (Hugh Grant). The trailer shows the endearing Bridget engaging in more innocently awkward moments, and the plot at times trends to a desperately similar direction as the first film. This sequel will probably be exactly the same as the first film.
November 5. Politics in sports
November 4. Young cats
November 3 . Jim Rome wanna-be
October 30. Top fives, volume 3
October 27. Ignorance on the radio
October 20. Riveting television
October 19. All hail Papi! Please resist the urge to write in a vote for David Ortiz for President.
October 15. Mission accomplished? -President Bush referring to Osama bin Laden in a March, 2002 press conference
October 11. But still, the rolling arms dance makes you look like a moron
October 7. Favorite quotes -Wilco, from "Passenger Side," the greatest drunk-driving anthem of all time
October 4. Tips for the brain-dead to stand out from the crowd. 2. Stop saying "Get 'er done." It wasn't funny when that bit-recycling, no-talent redneck said it on Comedy Central, and it isn't funny when you say it. Stop it.
September 28. Wise words from a fellow Minnesotan -Steve Rushin, Road Swing
September 27. B recommends...
September 24. A marketing campaign shielding the truth? This sounds familiar...
September 20. Old timey blasphemy -Jesus (maybe)
September 16. Gramatically challenged, and on the radio!
September 14. Favorite quote -Ralph Wiggum
September 6. From the greatest show on earth... "I was not elected to serve one party." --George W. Bush (video overlay)
September 3. B's predictions Paula Abdul will be in treatment soon. I don't know what she's on, but she needs some help.
September 2. Blatant inaccuracy from Marshall -Eminem from "Without Me," which may be the dumbest phrase ever uttered by a human being. It is not only completely false, but also physically impossible.
August 25. Casual humor from JD
August 20. Elementary baseball knowledge It is not necessary to boo when the opposing pitcher tries to pick the runner off first base. Booing only proves your lack of knowledge. (I'm looking at you, Twins fans.)
August 16. Top fives, volume 2Five celebrities B would most like to see claim bankruptcy:
August 11. More enjoyment from your apps
August 7. Universal truths, #3
July 18. Favorite quote -Neal Page, Planes, Trains & Automobiles
July 15. Jumping the shark
July 11. Jody got married?
July 9. Music to my ears (literally)
July 7. Secondhand wisdom
July 4. Happy birthday, America
June 22. Top fives, volume 1
June 20. Favorite quote -Homer Simpson
June 16. Favorite quote -George Carlin
June 14. Out on a limb
June 10. Politically incorrect opinions
June 7. Grammar 101
June 6. Universal truth #2
June 1. Reality TV makes me sick
May 29. Objective frustration
May 26. Universal truth #1
May 24. Quote of the week -Tina Fey, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live
May 8. Link of the week
May 3. Great moments in television history -Jessie Spano, Saved by the Bell, in the midst of a caffeine pill overdose.
April 29. Baseball news, October 28, 2054
April 27. All-time favorite quote -Voltaire
April 19. Fashion tip of the week
April 15. Link of the week
April 12. Rap redundancies -Jay-Z, "Big Pimpin'"
April 9. B's reality TV predictions AMERICAN IDOL: Fantasia THE BACHELOR: Mandy (the soccer player)
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