OPEN MIC ARCHIVE: JAN - MAR 2005March 31. New WoB article My recap of week ten of The Apprentice.
March 30. A week's worth of reading Three web must-reads: New has-beens to live the 'Surreal Life': VH1 recently announced the housemates for their upcoming fifth season. The list includes Omarosa, Jose Canseco, Bronson Pinchot (Balki from Perfect Strangers) and four other equally desperate celebs. I am speechless. CD review of Beck’s Guero from Rolling Stone: It has been quite some time since I’ve actually enjoyed reading a review from Rolling Stone. They are mostly elitist drivel, focusing more on the writer’s masturbatory prose than an actual description of the CD’s sound. One such example is David Fricke’s review of the Kings of Leon’s A-Ha Shake Heartbreak: “The saloon-brawl guitars and wolf-eye glow of Manhood have been exchanged here for a dark, dry mood that, on first listen, mutes the Kings' transgressive fury and pop-hook luster.” I’ve never read a more useless sentence in all my life. But Rob Sheffield’s take on Beck’s recent release is razor-sharp, and more importantly, written in a refreshingly comprehensible vernacular. Kudos to Mr. Sheffield. 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers: This lengthy article (9,500 words, in fact) from the NY Press counting down the most despicable New Yorkers is delightfully snarky, laugh-out-loud funny and frequently spot-on. My favorite description is of Lorne Michaels: “Okay. Let's cut the bullshit—Saturday Night Live was never funny. Watching the coked-up antics of Chevy Chase, John Belushi and Joe Piscopo while completely sober proves it once and for all. Yes, Michaels has discovered and helped launch some clever and talented performers over the years, but he's just as often destroyed them. Even the current cast has some brilliant writers and performers—when we've seen them live at UCB and away from SNL—but the second Michaels gives them his anti-Midas touch and forces them to aim for the lowest common denominator, the shit's outta business. We've seen Amy Poehler and Tina Fey be comic geniuses in person, but under the visionary incompetence of one of the dumbest men in tv history, you just want to punch them both in the face. But please save your fists for the man responsible for dumbing down three different generations of society and turning satire into a dirty word. Even the Bushes watch their caricatures and giggle. Under Michaels' watch, "Weekend Update," arguably the nation's most visible engine of political satire, has muddled through 9/11, the Iraq war and two contentious presidential elections. Among its most frequent targets? Daytime television talk show The View. We implore you, Lorne, do the world a favor and resign. Then find your true calling in life: coke dealer.” What a genius paragraph; I wish I had written it. And though I don’t necessarily agree with the assessment, I have to admit there is some truth underneath all the hatred.
March 29. The Untitled New Media feature DVD CD
March 28. New WoB article Review of the Olympic Hopefuls/Honeydogs concert at First Avenue.
March 28. Reader Mail I noticed that none of the songs off of Bob Dylan's first album made the Shortcuts list and found that odd. I would highly recommend the entire album. Musically it is very simple, just acoustic guitar and some harmonica, but vocally, it is one of Dylan's best performances. He sings with an emotion that I don't think appears on any of the later albums (Well, maybe Masters of War he comes close). Songs like Fixin' to Die and Highway 51 are among his best in my mind. JD "I'd like to daze away to a place like no one has known" Adam Goethke, creator of the Bob Dylan Shortcuts list, responded with, "Everyone has their own opinions, preferences and favorites. For me, to pack all of the Bob Dylan tunes I love in one CD is impossible, so I just went with my absolute favorites. I do own Dylan's first disc, but for me, the songs on that album don't match up with "The man in me," or "Queen Jane approximately." I respect your opinion, and believe me, I can listen to that album any day of the week. Thanks for writing in."
March 26. Link of the week I quite enjoy enthusiastic sarcasm, therefore this article tickled my funny bone. Caution: liberal use of swear words and overt hatred of frat boys. Thanks to reader Andy P for the heads up.
March 25. New WoB article
March 24. New WoB article
March 24. Interesting web visits "The Office" preview on MySpace.com
March 22. The Untitled New Media feature Starting today and occurring every Tuesday, I will be listing the most noteworthy DVD and music releases of the week. I do this because I care. DVD MUSIC
March 21. I shall call this The Greatest High School Basketball Shot Ever Sweet Jesus. This is the best thing to come from Minnesota since Prince.
March 21. New WoB article Film review of The Upside of Anger, starring Joan Allen and Kevin Costner.
March 21. You call this a roast? "You are to comedy what Wayne Brady is to black people." - Greg Giraldo at Jeff Foxworthy's Comedy Central roast. This was the funniest line -- well, actually the only funny line -- all night. I hope I'm the only one who wasted my time watching it. Blah.
March 20. Get to know Stephen Elliott Be sure to read this riveting story of author Elliott in the Chicago Tribune. His upbringing was so tragic it's almost difficult to believe it actually happened.
March 19. Finally! Welcome to March Madness Thank God for West Virginia. Their first-round win against Creighton provided the only spark to an otherwise dull round of games. And their next game, a double-overtime win against favorite Wake Forest that ended not one minute ago, was the best NCAA tourney game in years; an instant classic. Mike Gansey, with 19 points in the two OTs, is our new favorite.
March 19. This is what happens on slow news days The fact that the Terri Shiavo situation has been dominating the headlines is appalling to say the least. While I see no problem in lending support to this Florida woman’s struggle with survival (though she may or may not even want to be alive), the real problem with this story is the people who’ve found it necessary to voice their opinions concerning the proper treatment of Terri. Every media outlet and passing conversation is full of people harping about what the family should be doing with Terri. If she told her husband she wanted him to pull the plug they should respect her wishes. Well, if that were my daughter I’d fight to keep her alive no matter what her husband says. A human life should be preserved at all costs. I have a suggestion: stay out of it. It’s none of your business. I don’t care what you would do in the same situation, I don’t care who you think is at fault, I don’t care how precious you think life is and I don’t care what your religion leads you to conclude. This isn’t a political issue and it teaches us nothing about the human condition; it’s simply a tragic story about a family battle (a family you’ve never met, by the way) over a woman who’s been brain-dead for over 15 years. Mind your own business and move on. If you need to take up a cause, how about concerning yourself with the increasing number of fallen soldiers in Iraq? Why don’t we pay this much attention to each and every tragic death of an American soldier overseas? We need to reevaluate the idea of perspective, and start putting it to use. Oh, and if someone isn’t yet convinced that Peggy Noonan is an imbecile should read her thoughts on this subject. What a self-righteous blowhard.
March 17. Apprentice Cop-out The Apprentice is showing a recap episode tonight. The gist: Todd was incompetent, Michael was a douchebag, Brian is still crazy, Verna sucked, Danny was an idiot and Chris has a temper. Thanks for the 411. Instead of recapping the latest episode, B will rank the top nine competitors in terms of competency (note: this is an absolute shot in the dark because most everyone has shown fits of incompetency): 9. Stephanie -- She is more incompetent than John and Tara (two competitors already fired), but has stuck around because of a lucky win as Project Manager and a preference for letting others handle the difficult tasks. Everyone knows she's going home soon. Stephanie is the kitten hanging off the branch in that one poster. 7. Craig -- Classy and easygoing, Craig is the only person not to take on the role of Project Manager. Not a good sign. He also shows a propensity to talk down to others. 6. Bren -- Despite the fact that he always looks sweaty and that he seems physically unable to properly tie a bow-tie (how hard can it be?), Bren seems rather smart. Then again, he was responsible for the cucumber porno in episode four, so I don't know what to expect. He's this season's wild card. 5. Tana -- Received virtually no camera time until last week's episode, in which she was the star despite her desperate and laughable attempts to "hippify" herself. Her peppy attitude and charm are certainly good qualities, but may end up being her downfall in tasks where she needs to be serious. 4. Chris -- The youngest competitor at 21, Chris seems to be smart, respectful and well-spoken; a natural leader. Also possesses a temper that is so hilarious I can't believe it hasn't yet been spoofed on SNL. 3. Alex -- Did a great job as Project Manager on the PS2 mural billboard mission. Seems to know his strengths and weaknesses and thankfully possesses not one iota of arrogance. 2. Kendra -- Receives little camera time but has been the top problem-solver on most successful tasks. Low-key yet confident, she's been impressive week in and week out. 1. Angie -- Angie's not the sexy choice as the next Apprentice, but consider this: she excels at every task, and her teammates respect her to no end. Until she unveils a major flaw, Angie is the person I'd pick to lead a mission. Get caught up:
March 17. New WoB article The Pop Challenge: Female Role Model. This piece will be appearing in the next issue of Industry Magazine. I'd like to know what you think of it: send me a comment.
March 16. Smells like an Onion, no? I can't wait to taste the new Christ! I've always thought the current version is a bit bland, but then again I have a fussy palate.
March 14. Without words, unable to form sentences WOW. I uh, I just...wow. I'm having trouble putting this into words, but here goes: I just watched the greatest half hour of reality television in history. Repeat: the greatest half hour of reality television in history. We all knew MTV's The Inferno II was going to be laughably overdramatic, but the second episode soared to heights previously unimaginable. Derrick and Landon wrestling while drunk. Jodi breaking down after a disappointing performance. Jon Brennan comparing himself to Jesus. Dan from Miami straddling him in The Inferno. Julie being Julie. Fat Beth reduced to blubbery tears. Jon comparing himself to Jesus again. Words can not describe the hilarity. I didn't blink for 15 straight minutes. My jaw was dropped for so long I drooled on my hoodie. The neighbors no doubt heard my gagging cackles. Words...cannot...describe. I can't see straight. I need to lie down.
March 14. And the Gods asked for Nikko Nikko Smith, B welcomes you back with open arms. With the too-polished Mario Vasquez deciding to quit American Idol, Nikko will be returning to the competition. He has been my favorite singer thus far (mainly because he's the only one who doesn't sing like he's trying out for a musical), so I will continue tuning in for the time being. Not like you care.
March 14. Link of the week Have you been to this website? Fully endorsed by the WoB.
March 14. Not recreating the wheel The news of the Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen breakup is hardly current, and barely even newsworthy, but this bit of pop culture fluffery by Diablo Cody is pitch-perfect: "Denise, already the mother of a one year-old, is pregnant again and due in June. Not many expectant mothers suddenly file for divorce, so it's safe to say that our Charlie has done a no-no. Still, there’s definitely a double standard here. If Charlie was filing for divorce, people would be appalled. There’s a popular notion that only a scum-sucking man-whore would break up with a pregnant woman (even if the split was mutual.) Remember the uproar when Kevin Federline dumped Shar Jackson for Britney? But if a pregnant woman decides to file for divorce, people respect her decision and offer their strength. That’s utter bullshit. If you find it unacceptable for an expectant father to dump an expectant mother, then the opposite should be true. I mean, Charlie is expecting a kid too. Even if he fucked up big time (and I suspect he did), it’s got to suck knowing that you’ll never have free access to a child you haven’t even met yet. People would expect a dissatisfied husband to at least wait out the pregnancy before filing for the big D., so why isn’t the same decorum expected of Denise? It's like men are always expected to be financially responsible for their kids (and to feign enthusiasm for every spit bubble their infant produces), but when it comes down to it, people still consider the mother to have "ownership." Blah."
March 13. New on the WoB
March 10. New WoB article
March 8. Get in the know, right now Cnet recently reported that the growth rate of internet browser Mozilla Firefox is declining. Considering the quality of the product – heads and shoulders above its competitors, really – this news is frustrating. I’ll be blunt: you’re insane if you aren’t using Firefox as your web browser (read: the button you press when you want to get on the net). It’s faster than Internet Explorer, it’s cleaner and easier to navigate and, most importantly, there are no pop-ups. And it isn’t just for tech junkies; the interface is as accessible to the common web user as any similar product. Seriously, go to Mozilla’s site and download Firefox. Do it right now; it’ll take about 90 seconds. Make a desktop shortcut, delete IE and don’t ever look back.
March 7. The bad teeth joke isn't just a stereotype The World of B wholeheartedly endorses The Office and apologizes for the embarrassing delay in jumping on the bandwagon of this hilarious show. Sorry.
March 6. Good buys It's pandemonium at the WoB compound! B just purchased DVDs of Friday Night Lights, Napoleon Dynamite and Before Sunset for $30 total at the local Hollywood Video chain! What, did you expect this to be an interesting story?
March 4. Coming soon... ...on Worldofb.com: The Apprentice recap, Hot Hot Heat & Louis XIV concert review, Kings of Leon concert review (taking place this Saturday), This Week in Rentals and Minimally Invested. Check back throughout the weekend.
March 2. Local sports update Timberwolves I’ve been ignoring the Timberwolves since mid-December, and will continue to do so until someone convinces me otherwise. Vikings I still like our team’s chances in the JV-like NFC North (especially if we draft a big-time player and make one or two key free agent signings), but a piece of my heart has been broken. Twins 2005 potential starting lineup: Combine this lineup with the best 1-2 starting combination and deepest bullpen in the league… I’m getting goosebumps just writing about it. Wild
March 1. A shout-out from a hometown pal My old buddy Pat Neshek, a kick-ass minor league reliever for the Minnesota Twins, mentioned me in a recent interview. I don't mind being remembered as a fireballer with control issues, because it's completely true.
February 28. Links of the week Patrick Hruby wrote a fantastic article today for ESPN's Page 2. Check it out even if you don't follow sports; this is an example of a piece B wishes he were talented enough to write. Charlie Todd, an actor/comedian living in New York, has pulled off many hilarious gags in the past few years with his team, dubbed Improv Everywhere. My favorite prank, documented here, involves Todd setting up a reading at a Barnes & Noble for one Anton Chekov. These gags are a smarter version of Punk'd.
February 27. Los Angeles, I'm Yours: volume 4 I wrote in an earlier Open Mic session that there are only three Hollywood actors in the industry worth rooting for: George Clooney, Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks. I was given this information from a close friend who has worked in the movie industry for over ten years. While most actors are the typical self-involved blowhards, my friend – let’s call him “Bob” – has maintained these three actors are genuinely decent human beings. Well, that number has just dropped to two, according to Bob. Bob is in the midst of working on Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds (starring Tom Cruise), and has developed a newfound hatred for a man he once truly respected. Here’s why: Apparently Cruise has set up a Scientology tent on the movie set. Repeat: A Scientology tent on the movie set. While Bob and countless others are busy TRYING TO WORK, these Scientology peddlers routinely approach people on the set to recruit them. Do you feel stressed out? Are you dealing with an increasing amount of pressure at work and at home? Do you sometimes feel like you can’t handle it all? Are you looking for answers? Have you considered Scientology? It’s all Bob and his coworkers can do to not attack at each and every one of them. It’s one thing to deal with “people” like this on the streets of Manhattan, where you can’t walk ten feet without encountering crazy religious harasser types. But on the set of a Spielberg movie? Where people are trying to work? It’s inappropriate, and it shouldn’t take a lecture from this website to know better. The World of B does not endorse anyone who feels their own religion is the “correct” religion. We don’t hate Cruise for being a member of the Church of Scientology; we hate him for trying to shove his views down other people’s throats. Screw Tom Cruise, now and forevermore.
February 25. Links of the week
February 22. Goodbye to the gonzo Godfather Late Sunday night author Hunter S. Thompson was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The New York Times obituary said Thompson was a “maverick journalist and author whose savage chronicling of the underbelly of American life and politics embodied a new kind of nonfiction writing he called "gonzo journalism." While I haven’t read much of Thompson’s work, I will say that anyone with seeds big enough to make a career out of telling it like it is will always be a hero of mine. Rest in peace, Mr. Thompson, and thank you for the inspiration.
February 21. Bill Gates was a sexy beast
February 21. More of the funny Joke #1 Q: Why can't Smokey the Bear's wife have children? A: Because every time she gets hot he beats her with a shovel Joke #2 After a rough night out drinking, three guys meet the next day to compare stories and found out who was the drunkest. The first guy says, “Man I was so hammered. I stumbled in last night and blew chunks.” The second guy scoffs and says, “That’s nothing! On my way home I wrapped my car around a telephone pole.” The third guy says, “I’ve got you both beat. When I got home I kicked over one of my girlfriend’s candles and it burned my entire house down.” After a few moments of silence, the first guy clears his throated and quietly says, “Guys, I don’t think you understand. Chunks is my dog.”
February 19. I apologize in advance for this one I know the “funny name” joke has been done waaaaaay too many times, but this one’s too good to ignore. A friend alerted me to what I believe to be the funniest name I’ve ever heard: a gynecologist named Dr. Waschbusch. That's right -- wash bush.
February 18. Tales from the day job I was on the phone with a bigwig from a major television studio yesterday when he claimed, “we were literally handcuffed by the network in terms of creative control.” I literally laughed my ass off.
February 16. Predictions for 2005 television On American Idol… On the Apprentice… On the Blue Collar Comedy Tour… On the Surreal Life…
February 15. Remember when actor Ethan Hawke wrote a book? This is sort of the same, but completely opposite The hip-hop genre is in good hands with Lil Jon at the helm
February 14. Grammy Whammy! by Neal Pollack Pollack wrote a great running journal of last night's Grammy Awards for salon.com. Here is the entire article and here are my two favorite excerpts: “Following that atrocity of God, Matthew McConaughey, a man once arrested in my home city of Austin, Texas, for streaking, shows up and makes a convincing case for how Southern rock is still alive and well and also rockin'. As an avatar of this truth, Gretchen Wilson and Lynrd Skynrd appear and sing "Freebird." In their hands, rock's biggest cliché sounds like "I Will Always Love You." Now, I'm not a Southerner by birth, nor was I born to be a rocker. But I know quite a few Southern rockers down here who would take exception at such a flimsy portrayal of down-home virtues. What a goddamn embarrassment.” “Eddy Arnold gets his lifetime achievement recognition from Billy Bob Thornton, who then introduces Tim McGraw to sing a song. Hmm. Bad Santa considers Tim McGraw "a good friend." Perhaps I should reexamine my opinion of Tim McGraw. Nope. I'm sorry, call me an indie snob if you want, but Tim McGraw is just a country version of "Tuesdays With Morrie." The song, "Live Like You Were Dying," is about a man who gets bad news from his doctor, but doesn't let that stop him from going out and doing adventure sports. Tim McGraw, how many of your fans can afford to go sky-diving or Rocky Mountain climbing? How many of them even have health insurance? If I found out I were dying, I'd fall into a sobbing heap for about two days, which is what most people would do, and then I'd start figuring out a way to use my sympathetic status so I could sit on the Phoenix Suns bench during the playoffs. Skiing wouldn't be high on my priority list." Pollack also has a great website, which I sadly recommend more than my own.
February 13. Color me impressed
Am I the only one who genuinely enjoyed this year’s Grammy Awards? While the actual award presentations mean nothing to me (i.e. Paula Cole as Best New Artist, Celine Dion’s Falling Into You as Album of the Year, etc.), the amount of quality performances this year was startling. Yes, the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony routine made me want to puke, and sure, John Mayer’s pseudo-raspy voice is universally irritating, but the rest were superb. Kanye West, Alicia Keys, Green Day, Usher, Franz Ferdinand, Joss Stone, Stevie Wonder’s harmonica…even the feisty Melissa Etheridge made me smile.
February 13. You be me for a while, and (please oh please) I'll be you Old Paul Westerberg interview from The Onion: O: You did tour with Tom Petty. PW: That was pretty much the beginning of the end. Obviously, the label was trying to get us to appeal to a broader, wider audience, and Tom's fans are Tom's fans. There were a lot of altercations in the audience. Maybe 1/20th of the audience came to see us, and they would get in fights with Petty's fans, because they were booing us. It wasn't really a cool scene, actually. O: Did you mind Petty swiping your "rebel without a clue" line? [That line, from The Replacements' "I'll Be You," turned up in Petty's "Into The Great Wide Open." —ed.] PW: It miffed me a little bit, but it's all... I'd steal something back from him, if I could find something I liked.
February 11. Would you rather... Hang out with Verne Troyer or Oven Mitt?
February 9. Oh, to be this humorous All from McSweeney's: Reading-Too-Much-Into-Things Comprehension Condensed Letters to Penthouse Forum
February 7. Someday I will be this clever Stephen Elliott is a genius: "How many Bush administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
February 2. Things to read while B is atop Copper Mountain 1. Author Tom Kealey's stellar website. His Daily Pick is always interesting. I almost didn't offer this link because I'm afraid my readers will forget to come back to my site after visiting Tom's. 2. Three of B's favorite articles from the WoB archive:
January 31. Bone-picking with online comedy voters Comedy Central played their “Standup Showdown” results all day Sunday. The Standup Showdown feature was a countdown of the top 25 “Comedy Central Presents” standup specials decided upon by a poll on Comedy Central’s website. The five best specials according to the voters are as follows: 5. Stephen Lynch Standup comedy has long been a passion of B’s, and since he has seen the majority of the specials his favorites are as follows: 5. Dave Attell By the way, Frank Caliendo is not a standup comedian, he is an impressionist. Note the difference.
January 29. I wish I had written this From Jeff Johnson's blog: Dear U.S. Government Department of Giving Money to Agreeable Journalists,
January 28. Here's the funny Joke #1 Q: Where does President Bush keep his army? A: Up his sleevie. Joke #2 A man was out drinking with his friends and found himself to be far too intoxicated. As he was stumbling to the bathroom, he unexpectedly threw up on himself. "Oh no," the man slurred. "I'm in so much trouble. My wife doesn't like me hanging out with you guys because I get too drunk, and now I've gotten sick all over my shirt." "Relax," said one of the friends as he handed him a bill. "Take this $5 and put it in your pocket. When your wife asks what happened, tell her one of us got sick on you and we gave you $5 for the drycleaning." When the man stumbled home that night, his wife promptly questioned him about the vomit on his shirt. "Don't worry, baby," the man said. "One of the guys threw up on me and gave me that $5 to dryclean the shirt." "But this is a 10," the wife said. "Oh, right, well he also shit my pants."
January 27. And you thought your parents were embarrasing "Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a t-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" -Joe Simpson, father of Jessica Simpson
January 25. Where I'll be Three dates to put on your 2005 calendar: March 5 – Kings of Leon concert at The Fine Line. The new album hasn’t yet been released in the US, but anyone progressive enough to order from Amazon’s UK store will tell you it’s an impressive sophomore effort following one of the more intriguing debuts in years. April 9 – The Decemberists come to Minneapolis for a concert, also at The Fine Line (jeez, whatever happened to shows at First Ave?). B weeps for those who haven’t yet experienced The Decemberists’ wonderful music. Do yourself a favor and have a listen to “July, July!” and “Los Angeles, I’m Yours.” Listen to them twice. Allow yourself to fall in love. June 25 – Year two of B’s Bar Crawl. The first crawl was quite an event; we’d love you to join us this year.
January 24. Calling all Minnesota radio listeners... Tune in to 89.3 FM and program it into your radio. According to MPR, "89.3 The Current plays the best new music alongside music that explores roots and influences. With a special emphasis on local musicians and groups, 89.3 offers you great music that seldom gets played on the radio." This is what we've been hoping for since Rev 105 went under. Let's enjoy this together.
January 19. Knee-jerk complaining Has Bill Simmons jumped the shark? The Sports Guy is in danger of turning into his worst enemy: the spoiled sports fan.
January 18. The return of Stewie For those who haven’t heard, Fox announced yesterday that The Family Guy will air its first new episode in more than three years on MAY 1. Cancelled because of poor ratings, this series was given a second chance due to the astronomical DVD sales. Many of B’s friends claim this show is the “funniest shit ever,” but B finds it a bit overrated. It is a more ridiculous version of The Simpsons, minus the social commentary. Nevertheless, it is undeniably hilarious and B is excited for the new season. (Interesting note: did you know that creator Seth McFarlane handles the voices of Peter, Bryan and Stewie? I was unaware.)
January 17. Book excerpt "The Republican Party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing the candidates to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh winter of independent thought." - from America (The Book): A Citizen's guide to Democracy Inaction by the writers of The Daily Show
January 14. Falling off chairs The US Government has reported that they have officially given up the search for weapons of mass destruction. Shock waves were sent throughout the country, with most citizens claiming they haven't been this floored since the LAPD decided to stop searching for Nicole Brown Simpson's actual killer.
January 9. Playoff football Click here to watch the live running journal of the Vikings game.
January 9. B's predictions In a commercial previewing the upcoming Bachelorette series, one male contestant says angrily about a fellow contestant, “I will chew him up like a piece of garbage.” Call me crazy, but I’m betting the garbage eater isn’t going to be around for the final rose.
January 8. Stay tuned Barring emergency, B plans to run a live journal for tomorrow's Vikings playoff game. Check back early and often during the game to see B's takes, updated approximately every 15 minutes or less.
January 8. Video clips of the week Ashlee Simpson's halftime performance
January 5. I got HIV from a pickup basketball game! George Stephanopoulos: Now, you're a doctor. Do you believe that tears and sweat can transmit HIV? This is from an interview about a month ago; I apologize for the tardiness. Keep in mind, Bill Frist is not only the Senate Majority Leader, he's also a doctor. Yikes.
January 5. Vomiting in my mouth (and loving every minute of it) It’s difficult to overstate how dreadful Ashlee Simpson’s halftime performance was at the Orange Bowl. Listening to Simpson's live singing is roughly as enjoyable as hearing a cat being shoved down a garbage disposal.
January 4. Can you see the resemblance? While aimlessly searching the net, B found a long lost family member. Is he a brother? A cousin? The resemblance is unmistakable.
January 4. What to watch II There is no better new release DVD rental than Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I reviewed this film when it was first released, and certainly enjoyed it, but Eternal Sunshine is twice as good the second time around (same as all Kaufmann flicks). Watch and repeat for optimal viewing pleasure.
January 3. What to watch Kudos to MTV’s Made franchise, quite possibly the only redeeming show left on the network. Contrary to the numerous shows on television that tout cosmetic surgery as a worthy option (screw you, social values!), Made’s m.o. consists of teenagers setting life-affirming goals and actually working to achieve them.
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