B'S MLB PREVIEW

By: B -- 4/2/06

Hello again, National Pastime. I’ve missed you so.

Today is Opening Day 2006, a day I’ve been looking forward to with unbridled eagerness since, well, the day the White Sox won the 2005 World Series (Ah yes, that’s what vomit tastes like again). I plan on devoting many a word to baseball coverage over the course of the ’06 campaign, and to get things started I’ll give my guaranteed-to-be-wrong predictions to the season. I’ma keep it concise, but if you dig long-winded commentary you can check out guest writer Adam Goethke’s AL and NL/Playoff predictions.

AL EAST

1. New York Yankees – So many things will have to go wrong for the Yankees to miss the postseason. They just have too many options.

2. Boston Red Sox – They have the potential of blowing by the Yanks if they can avoid injuries, but they’ll need the oft-injured Schilling, Beckett and Foulke to be huge. Dicey.

3. Toronto Blue Jays – Poor guys seem to have a promising squad, but they’re in the wrong division.

4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Love these guys. Young, speedy and talented. Count on a ton of Sportscenter coverage of the Rays this season.

5. Baltimore Orioles – Miguel Tejada is the MLB’s Kevin Garnett. You just want the guy to get traded; he deserves a ring.

AL CENTRAL

1. Chicago White Sox – I hate the lucky bastards, but they’ll no doubt be formidable. Thome had a good spring and, while Javy Vasquez isn’t dominating or anything, he’s still the best #5 starter in the game.

2. Minnesota Twins – So many question marks. Shannon Stewart and Rondell White are always injured; Morneau, Baker, Kubel, Bartlett and Liriano are unproven; Castillo and Radke aren’t getting any younger and Fatista is just plain awful. They’ll be competitive, fun to watch, etc, but I just can’t see them taking the title.

3. Cleveland Indians – The Indians will be worse than last year. No more Millwood, no more Crisp.

4. Detroit Tigers – Don’t care. They won’t be good.

5. Kansas City Royals – Royals fans have virtually nothing to look forward to.

AL WEST

1. Los Angeles Angels – Just a solid team all around. I expect John Lackey to have a career year.

2. Oakland Athletics – Damn near everyone’s picking these guys to make a run at a World Series ring, but I wouldn’t count on Frank Thomas and Milton Bradley for anything.

3. Texas Rangers – I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Rangers making a run at the division title. They’ve got some studs on offense (Young, Texeira, Blalock, Mench) and, finally, a few pitchers as well in Millwood, Padilla and Cordero.

4. Seattle Mariners – Someday my grandchildren will ask me about Felix Hernandez.

NL EAST

1. Atlanta Braves – This division will be won by the steadiest team. I don’t expect the Braves to dominate but they’ve got enough depth to withstand their less-talented divisional foes.

2. Philadelphia Phillies – I love Philly’s offense, but their pitching might stink.

3. New York Mets – Eh, I don’t know. They’ve got some studs, but they do every year, and every year they underachieve. Why would 2006 be any different?

4. Washington Nationals – The Nats are going to suck. They just might be the second-worst team in the league. The only thing saving them from the cellar is that the…

5. Florida Marlins – are even worse. Poor Dontrelle.

NL CENTRAL

1. St. Louis Cardinals – I don’t see any way these guys will be as good as last year. Sidney Ponson is fat and lame.

2. Houston Astros – With or without Clemens, the ‘Stros will have the same horses that have made them competitive the past couple years. These guys bore me though.

3. Milwaukee Brewers – Rickie Weeks and Prince Fielder are the future, and the future is now. Predictions: Ben Sheets will be great, Derrick Turnbow will not.

4. Chicago Cubs – Victor Zambrano, Derrick Lee and a bunch of injured fools do not a championship team make. Plus, Dusty Baker is overrated.

5. Cincinnati Reds – Dunn, Griffey and Lopez will keep them competitive, but they simply have no chance in Hell of winning the pennant.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates – Jason Bay is their one and only stud.

NL WEST

1. Los Angeles Dodgers – A solid core of players (no superstars) competing in what will probably be a shitty division. Furcal, Penny and Gagne are the team studs.

2. San Diego Padres – Why base your team on power hitters when you play in Petco Park? Likewise, why ignore the pitching staff? They should be competitive, but I wouldn’t count much on Piazza, Klesko and Castilla.

3. San Francisco Giants – I can’t imagine these guys escaping injury all season. Their age will haunt them sooner or later.

4. Colorado Rockies – Actually had a great second half last season. Their lineup will be decent, but the pitching is suspect. Suspect, I tell ya, suspect.

5. Arizona Diamondbacks – They might be okay, I just don’t care. I’m picking them for last place because Orlando Hernandez is on the team. I hate that guy.

POSTSEASON

AL Wildcard: Yankees over Angels, White Sox over Athletics

NL Wildcard: Cardinals over Braves, Phillies over Dodgers

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