WHERE WERE YOU WHEN...

By: B

I still remember falling to my knees at the end of last season’s ALCS. The evil Yankees had again beat the underdog Red Sox. One year later, I decided to document my thoughts in a running journal. As Derek Lowe and the Red Sox faced off with Kevin Brown and the Yankees, I was appropriately on my couch with my laptop nearby. I jumped into the action in the top of the first, writing down whatever felt newsworthy.

7:39 Bellhorn gets one big hit (his three-run homer in game six) and he’s promoted back to the second spot in the order? With the exception of one swing, he’s been dreadful. This is not a smart coaching move, but hopefully it won’t come back to bite us (and yes, I plan on using “us” all night) in the ass.

7:40 Dale Sveum is the most destructive member of the Red Sox organization. Sending Damon in the first inning? Even if it would have worked out, this was a completely boneheaded play. He’ll be out of a job soon.

7:41 A clutch two-out homer by David Ortiz. Prediction: my kids will someday ask me about his performance this October.

7:52 No one is making a big deal out of Kevin Brown and Derek Lowe pitching on three day’s rest. Both game seven starters pitching on that schedule usually warrants at least a front-page mention. In this series? Everything is out the window. Issues that used matter are now commonplace. I’ve realized I may never watch a game with this much drama ever again in my lifetime.

7:53 First inning over, Lowe shuts the Yanks down in order, including a particularly pathetic at-bat from A-Rod, who will hereby be known as “Bizarro Ruth.” (He deserves this name because he may be the driving force that reverses this curse. Would the Babe or any other classic Yankee have attempted the pathetic karate chop like A-Rod? He’s a tool.) I get up and make my first drink of the night. It warrants mentioning that I’m watching the game alone in my apartment, and I repeat, I’ve already begun drinking.

7:57 Kenny Albert makes his first appearance, spewing some irrelevant bullshit about The Miracle and Bucky Dent. He talks like he’s storing nuts in his mouth for winter. Is his tongue swollen? Enunciate, you spoiled jackass.

8:01 Kevin Brown looks awful. He’s missing his spots, he looks haggard and worried, and the Sox look locked in. Joe Torre, meanwhile, looks disheveled and constipated.

8:05 It’s the little things that bug me about A-Rod. Cabrera dribbles a foul grounder to him, and Bizarro Ruth snags it and tags third before Mueller (running from second base, but slowing down because it's obviously not a fair ball) can arrive. It’s foul, dude! You knew it was three feet foul and you tagged the base just to be a prick! You don’t get bonus points for a foul ball force-out. Trying to show everyone that Mueller would have been out had the hit been fair proves absolutely nothing. And take off that purple lipstick. And wipe that frightened look off your face. This is the playoffs, it’s Yanks-Sox; act like a man who knows what he’s doing.

8:09 Kevin Brown gets pulled. Shrewd decision by Torre, who knows there is no room wiggle room in game 7. Hopefully Sveum takes his –

8:10 GRAND SLAM, JOHHNY DAMON! Credit the righteous ‘do. I’m still alone, doing fist pumps. I wish it was the eighth inning.

8:21 The bottom of the second may be the most important half-inning for the Sox. If Lowe spots the Yanks a few runs, the entire mood changes. History says the Sox will sit back for a few innings, the Yanks will slowly climb back and we’ll enter the late innings with the Sox ahead something like 6-2 or 6-3. Not this year, not with this Sox team. Mid-game prediction: 8-1, Sox. A mob ensues, and Damon wears a shower cap in the post-game celebration so he doesn’t mess up his ‘do.

8:27 Lowe gets out of the second unscathed, giving up a harmless walk before getting Old Man Lofton on a weak grounder.

8:33 Vasquez just struck out Varitek and Nixon on high fastballs. This will not last— though they’re fast as hell (93 MPH), they’re straight and they’re belt high. Beware, Javy, beware. (I still can’t believe how much he's struggled in the past few months. My prediction: Vasquez must have a personality. Most Yankees who find success are absolute robots: Tino Martinez, Scott Brosius, Paul O’Neill, Bizarro Ruth – the more boring you are, the better chance you have to succeed in New York. Everyone knew Olerud would thrive with the Yankees because he’s a complete dud. Jeff Weaver and Esteban Loaiza and Vasquez- these guys can’t hack it in the Big Apple because they’re suffocated from the regulations by Steinbrenner. 15 months ago, Vasquez and Loaiza were the top pitchers in their respective leagues, now they’re throwing mop-up innings. Strange.)

8:43 Miquel Cairo, on base because the ball hit his jersey while he was batting, steals second. This worries me.

8:44 Yep, Derek Jeter promptly pokes his patented grounder through the hole on the left side and Cairo scores. Shit. Jeter’s such a cheerleader, he makes me sick.

8:46 Tim McCarver is making way too big a deal out of Jeter cheering at first base. After his single he looked at the bench and yelled, “Come on!” and clapped his hands together. Now McCarver is saying, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a reaction like this from Jeter.” Well, I have. He does this every damn time he gets on base, Tim. Chill out, you senile dope.

8:50 So it’s 6-1 in the fourth. Vasquez looks okay tonight, and Lowe looks decent but hittable. I don’t want any at-bats tonight that could result in a tie ballgame. No pressure, no drama. I just want a standard win, a game that takes less than four hours, a victory that is sweet in that it doesn’t suck every ounce of energy from me.

8:52 HOLY SHIT. Ten seconds after I wrote the previous entry, Johnny Damon hits his second home run of the ball game, an absolute rocket to the upper deck. This changes everything.

8:58 Vasquez gets away with yet another meatball to Ortiz. He then walks him and gets pulled for his clone, Esteban Loaiza.

9:05 Bases loaded, one out; this Trot Nixon at-bat could potentially put this game away.

9:06 Nixon strikes out.

9:14 Derek Lowe is getting ahead of hitters and keeping them off-balanced. The Sox defense is playing like they’ve had the top hand all along. I’m telling you, this feels surreal. They are absolutely handing it to the Yanks, with the calm of a spring training matchup. The Yankees are flailing at pitches out of the strike zone, making desperate pitching changes and failing to execute on defense.

9:20 This is the apocalypse. Loaiza has Mueller in a rundown and he somehow escapes. Mueller to third, Damon to second, still only one out. Am I awake? The Red Sox aren’t just winning, they’re winning the Yankee way, playing like men who just know they’re the better team.

9:28 Tim McCarver just spoke for about five minutes about when Pedro would start in the World Series. Is he on the Yankee payroll? Is he trying to jinx this thing? With two outs in the bottom of the fifth, this game is just barely half over in terms of Yankee at-bats. Less Tim McCarver and more Al Leiter, please.

9:35 Pedro is warming up in the bullpen. What is he doing? Trying to rile up the Yankee crowd? If he wants to play catch simply to stretch his arm out, why do it during the game? Is Francona trying to give the ultimate “fuck you” to the Yankees by throwing in their nemesis during a blowout? I’m not opposed to this on principle, but I want Pedro to stay fresh. We may need him next week.

9:37 If you told me Tony Clark was 55 years old, I’d believe it.

9:47 Derek Lowe is getting hugs in the dugout, and Pedro is steadily warming up in the bullpen. This is strange and, well, just plain wrong. Lowe is feelin’ it, and the Yanks are nowhere near him. Lowe should stay in as long as possible, and if he’s on the field when the game ends, he deserves the hog pile. After an uneven season, he’s been dealing tonight, and he shouldn’t get pulled until absolutely necessary. Pedro is a fragile pitcher, and he threw 100 pitches just two days ago. Tell him to sit down. Please, rest Pedro.

9:50 Two base hits by the Sox in the top of the 7 th. These guys are warriors, and even up by seven they’re still hungry. While the Evil Empire makes a pitching change, I watch the Best of the Chappelle Show.

9:57 I will go on record and admit that, even though the rendition of “God Bless America” during the 7 th inning stretch at Yankee Stadium sounds great, I hate it. The visiting pitchers have to wait an extra few minutes before the inning starts, and when it’s chilly outside, this assuredly hurts their effectiveness. It should be outlawed. We’re all proud of our American culture, but let’s celebrate it before and after the game, okay?

9:59 Pedro is in the game. I’m flustered, my face is red, I’m nervous. Pedro is one of my favorite pitchers of all time, but not now. Why rev up the crowd? I don’t mind Pedro coming in if Lowe is struggling, but he was on fire. He had thrown 69 pitches in 6 innings. This is a horseshit move, no way around it. The Yankees are the only team in the world that can make me nervous when they’re down seven with only nine outs left. Then again, a suggestion from one of my favorite websites is as follows: Bring Pedro in late in the game if the Sox are ahead by a mile. When he gets the last out of the game, he rips his jersey off to reveal an undershirt with the words “Who’s Your Daddy Now?” Something to think about.

10:03 Back to back doubles by Matsui and Williams. Pedro, prove me wrong. Show me why you belong in the game right now. I’m not lying when I say I can throw 87 miles per hour. You are throwing 87 during the biggest game of your life; meanwhile I’m sitting on my couch with a headache. What’s wrong with this picture?

10:05 RBI single by Old Man Lofton. Thank God for Damon’s second home run to bring the Red Sox run total to 8. 6-3 right now would give me an instant ulcer. But 8-3, well, it’s still on its way.

10:09 Pedro just threw a 95 MPH fastball to strike out Olerud. I can’t do that. Sorry, Pedro. You’re better than me.

10:11 Pedro threw the tightest, dirtiest curveball I’ve seen all season. Next pitch: flyball for the third out. The Sox hold a five run lead heading to the eighth. A five-run lead and I’m an absolute wreck. This is what it’s like to be a Red Sox fan. I pledged my allegiance long ago to the navy and red, and I can’t get out now. We’re so used to losing that a lead feels unnatural, like a redneck wearing bootcut jeans. We’re supposed to enjoy this feeling, to let it sink and calm us, but really we’re scared as hell.

10:15 Mark Bellhorn hits a home run to right! An absolute shot, hitting near the top of the foul line. I only wish Carlton Fisk were alive to see this. Oh, wait…

10:18 Derek Jeter just made a catch of David Ortiz’s blooper with his back to home plate. Anyone who’s played baseball will tell you this is one of the most difficult plays in baseball. I give Jeter credit- he never seems flustered or outmatched. If he strikes out with the game on the line, no one will ever claim it was the nerves. Success or failure, he’s got ice in his veins. I still hate him though, and it’s mostly because of his lame fist-pump after every mediocre play.

10:20 Question for the water cooler: is this the greatest comeback or the biggest meltdown? I say greatest comeback, because I really don’t think the Yankees played that poorly. Bizarro Ruth has looked like trash, but the rest of the players have played solid. The Red Sox have been tattooing the ball, and every move by Francona has worked out. I’m not saying I agree with him, but his risks have certainly worked out for the best.

10:23 Bottom of the eighth, Timlin is on. I plan on remembering every last out in this game. This isn’t over. Mientkiewitz is in, Pokey is in; we’re aligned. Game on.

10:26 After falling behind 3-0, Timlin comes back to get Jeter. DJ hit a soft bouncer to Mueller at third, who threw on the run to Mientkiewicz. He dug out an impossible scoop, getting Jeter by a step. Pretty play by the backup Doug, who used to play for the hometown Twins. One out.

10:28 After falling behind again to Bizarro Ruth, Timlin comes back to strike him out. After a sweet 2-1 strike on the corner, Timlin came back to strike him out on a hittable pitch on the outer half. Two down, Sheff swaggering to the plate.

10:29 On a 1-1 count, Sheffield takes a check swing on a pitch that almost hits him in the face. Obviously flustered, he hits a measly grounder to the superb Cabrera at short, who throws him out by a country mile. We go to the ninth with the good guys up, 9-3. I’m having difficulty typing. I’ve never lived in Boston and only visited twice, but I feel like this is a hometown team. I can’t quite explain it, but early in life one has to choose between the Expecteds and the Underdogs. You can root for the Yankees, with their robot personas and businesslike approach to the game, their surreal payroll, dictator-like owner and aging jackass superstars, or you can choose the Wild Bunch, a Red Sox team with hairdos and personalities and attitude and the fighter mentality. You get a chip on your shoulder when you sign with the team, refusing to believe when every media outlet pegs you as the choke artists, the hacks, the never-haves and never-wills. A true baseball fan can never waver in the middle of this rivalry. I chose the Sox long ago, and I’ll never look back.

10:37 Two bloopers off the mustachioed Tom Gordon by Nixon and Mientkiewicz. These are hits that historically drop in only for New York, and all of a sudden the roles are reversed. This must be what it feels like to root for the Yankees. What a surprising lack of anxiety.

10:47 After the Sox score another run on a flyout by Cabrera (a line drive to center, deep enough that a throw home was pointless), Rivera comes on and gets Damon for the third out. As we head to the ninth, butterflies are now the norm. There is no curse, there is no curse, there is no curse….

10:50 Matsui leads off. He was absolutely out of his mind in the first three games, but has quickly descended to earth, playing lousy in the past three games.

10:51 Never mind. He just roped a single to the right field corner. Matsui on first, Bernie Williams at the plate and Bronson Arroyo getting loose in the dugout. A groundball would be met with sheer delight, says B.

10:54 After a decent at-bat, senior citizen Williams hits a bouncer to Pokey, who calmly throws to second for the first out.

10:55 Posada flies out to Cabrera at short on the first pitch, an inside fastball that he had no business swinging at. I can’t type fast enough. Posada and the rest of the Yankees are absolutely reeling. It is now up to Old Man Lofton.

10:57 A four pitch walk to Lofton. Timlin may be feeling the ghosts of 80+ years running through his veins. I can’t imagine what it must feel like. Thank God it would take a touchdown to even tie this game, because I can see a field goal being tossed up in a hurry. No matter. The Yankees are down to their last out in their home stadium, a bunch of overpaid blowhards about to surrender the biggest letdown in Yankee (and MLB) history and be forced to face the wrath of George. I’m not worried anymore. This is karma. It’s over.

11:01 As Ruben Sierra grounds out to Pokey Reese at second base, the celebration begins. The war hasn’t been won, but the Expecteds have been knocked off. The greatest comeback in the history of baseball has just been completed on the hallow grounds of Yankee Stadium. The Red Sox mobbed, then slowly walked around hugging each other as cameramen hovered like vultures. I don’t know how Francona engineered this thing, and I can’t explain what happened to the Yankee hitters, but what’s done is done. Here’s what's important: Remember the blood seeping from Curt Schilling’s sock, remember Tim Wakefield’s three scoreless innings in game five and David Ortiz’s clutch hits in seemingly every important plate appearance. Don’t forget this team, ever, because someday the younger generation is going to ask us about this. Like the Jets upset and the Miracle on Ice, this is the defining sports moment of this generation. And I was here, a lonely fan from afar, typing like a madman trying to immortalize the experience.

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