FAN VACATES LUCKY SEAT, VIKINGS LOSE

By: B

In what can only be described as a catastrophic lapse of judgment, Dave Bergstrom moved from his lucky seat yesterday, causing the Minnesota Vikings to lose to the St. Louis Rams. Bergstrom, 46, decided to lie on the adjacent couch for optimal comfort, a move that caused the Vikings to drop to 7-5 in the standings.

“It just wasn't my day out there,” said a disappointed Bergstrom from his home in Fridley, Minnesota. “I just wasn't using my head and I take full blame. The couch is obviously not as lucky as the chair.”

The Minnesota Vikings began the season with an impressive 6-0 start. While many experts attributed the victories to an improved secondary and better decisions by quarterback Daunte Culpepper, Bergstrom has contended that the wins came from him sitting in his “lucky seat.” The “lucky seat” is a reference to the blue corduroy recliner positioned in Bergstrom's living room.

Bergstrom first sat in his beloved chair for the first game of the 2003 season, a 30-25 victory for the Vikings over rival Green Bay Packers. Legend grew as the Vikings continued winning, all while Bergstrom continued sitting. When the Vikings lost their first game against the New York Giants, Bergstrom was out of town on a hunting trip.

“If I had been sitting in my chair, we would have won that game,” said a confident and overweight Bergstrom. “I realized how much my support means to the Vikes.”

Bergstrom realized that his recliner-sitting was as important as anything else, and knew that if wanted the Vikings to win he would have to do his part. Whenever he could, Bergstrom made his way to his lucky seat to cheer on the Vikings.

However, when it came down to crunch time Sunday against the Rams, Bergstrom inexplicably abandoned his positioning strategy.

“I just couldn't get comfortable,” said Bergstrom. “I was all hung over to begin with, then when I microwaved my leftover buffalo wings and scarfed down those puppies, I felt even worse. To avoid puking, I decided to lie down on the couch. I guess I wasn't thinking how that would affect the Vikings.”

After the first half Sunday, Minnesota was down by a 20-17 margin. With an explosive offense, it seemed that the Vikings could still easily win the game. When they came out for the second half, Bergstrom had already made his ill-fated venture to the couch. Minnesota proceeded to give up 28 unanswered points and ended up going home with a 48-17 loss. Bergstrom returned to the recliner near the end of the game, but by then the contest was out of hand.

It was only during a post-game interview by a colleague that Bergstrom realized the importance of his blunder.

“We work hard in practice all week,” said head coach Mike Tice. “We expect our fans to help out the best they can. I'll be honest; I was more than a little upset to hear that Dave Bergstrom was lying on the couch during the entire second half. Everyone's got a job to do, and he didn't step up today. I can't help but question his will to win.”

When asked if he would be issuing a fine to Bergstrom, coach Tice said he hadn't yet decided.

“I called the Vikes to tell them that I will be sitting in my lucky seat from here on in,” said Bergstrom. “We are going to get through this together.

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