VIKINGS VS. EAGLES: A RUNNING JOURNAL

By: B -- 1/18/05

11:55 -- I woke up eight minutes ago and am gearing up for my second consecutive running journal of the Vikings playoff run. There is one key adjustment I’m making for this game: it’s not going to be a live journal this week. While last week’s installment was updated every few minutes, the experiment ultimately fell flat. I found that very few people actually check the site during the game. Vikes fans are too busy clutching pillows and pacing frantically around their living room.

12:00 -- Great – Joe “I’m 35 going on 80” Buck is working today’s game. As you may recall from last week’s journal, I initially missed Randy Moss’ fake moon last week against the Packers. I was staring at the computer screen at the time and had to rely on Buck’s “classless” assertion to tell the story of his celebration. With Buck’s disgusted report of the event I could only imagine how Moss celebrated. Did he flip the bird? Grab his crotch? Do the throat slashing thing?

I laughed audibly when I heard it was a simple fake moon. I slapped my forehead and grabbed my belly and rolled around on my carpet, laughing at Buck’s old man lunacy. Is this the 1950s? Are we in Pleasantville? Fake mooning is something nine-year-olds do on the back of the school bus. It’s a Happy Days episode. It’s not classless and it’s not disgusting – if anything, it’s immature.

12:09 -- On the Vikings first drive, the Eagles defense looks solid. They’re quick, they hit hard and they seem disciplined. But we knew all that coming into it. After a short pass, a short run and a scramble by Daunte, the Vikings have to punt.

12:12 -- 3-and-out for Philly! This is a good sign.

12:18 -- The Vikings come out of a timeout and call a draw. It took a timeout to draw that one up, guys? Seriously? On the next play Moss is wide open and Daunte fails to hit him. This is a bad sign. Culpepper’s known weaknesses have always been his fumbles and decision-making skills. He never misses open receivers, which tells me either the crowd is in his head or the wind is playing a role in the ball’s flight. Either way, this much is true: if Culpepper can’t complete passes to open receivers against the staunch Philadelphia defense, they’re in big trouble.

12:23 -- A 24-yard punt by Darren “I belong in the CFL” Bennett gives Philly the ball at midfield. This was the first big “under-valued” play of the game. There are plenty of these moments that the media decides not to cover. Under-valued plays are game-changing but not sexy enough to warrant a mention on SportsCenter.

12:26 -- A dropped pass by Brian Westbrook. Something must be in the water in Philadelphia; they can’t shake their reputation for being pass-droppers. 4 th down – the Vikes are going to quickly get the ball back.

12:27 -- No, wait. A holding call on Donterrius Thomas (who’s terrible) gives a first down to the Eagles.

12:27 -- Long pass to Westbrook to the Vikings seven-yard line. He was defended by – guess who – Thomas. Tough couple of plays there, pal.

12:27 -- If you enjoy seeing grown men cry, ask a Vikings fan how many new defensive starters the Vikings need to become a respectable unit. I say six (which is on the low end of this debate). Five of our starters – Kevin Williams, Keneche Udeze, Antoine Winfield, Brian Williams and Corey Chavous – can stay, but the rest barely belong in the league. Most Vikings fans will tell you the defense needs seven or eight new starters, and they will inevitably break down in tears soon afterwards. As Garth Algar would say, “…and that’s just really sad.”

12:30 -- Two-yard touchdown pass to Freddie Mitchell. He apparently does some celebration in response to Moss’ from last week, but the viewers don’t see it. The announcers giggle and tell Buck to explain what happened, but he doesn’t. Why are they on the air if they can’t explain what is happening? They surely aren’t adding any knowledgeable commentary: Aikman spent five minutes before the game explaining that Westbrook is the key to the Eagles offense. Well, no shit. Every other commentator in the country has pointed that out already.

12:39 -- Two big gains by the Vikes put them in Eagles field position: a nice screen to Mwelde Moore (underrated, could be a starter) on third down and a decent run by Michael Bennett (they’d trade him if they could get anything for him) on first down.

12:41 -- Culpepper’s pass is tipped on third down, leading to another incompletion. The Eagles seem to be blitzing on every play. In the past this has been a good sign for the Vikings. With the athleticism of Daunte and the ad-libbing of the receivers, we can usually pick apart a solid blitz. This hasn’t been happening today.

12:44 -- Philly’s ball. Long bomb to Greg Lewis for 53 yards. Where were the safeties? Williams, a solid cornerback, was left to cover the speediest receiver with no help. Not a good plan.

12:46 -- End of the first quarter. The Eagles are winning 7-0 and are about to score again. For the Vikings to get into this game, two things need to happen: they need to pick up the blitzes on offense and they need to get a better pass rush on defense. Beyond those two factors, the first quarter was played fairly even.

12:48 -- EJ Henderson just got schooled by Brian Westbrook on a simple route, resulting in a short touchdown pass to put the Eagles up 14-0. Henderson belongs on the practice squad, no exaggeration. I’ve never seen a more undisciplined player. He runs right into blocks, he gives up on routes and ultimately seems to not be paying attention most of the time.

12:52 -- A great kickoff return by Moore, who honestly should be our starting running back. He makes something out of nothing every time he touches the ball.

12:53 -- On third down, DC goes deep to Marcus “I was good when I was on the Bears” Robinson, who pulls down an under-thrown pass. Huge play. The Vikings are now at the 14-yard line.

12:55 -- Touchdown Daunte Culpepper! He dropped back for a pass, found no one open and scrambled to the right side. He crashed into about three defenders at the goal line, but he powered through for the score.

12:59 -- JR Reid, who I believe used to be an underachieving basketball player for the Knicks, returns the kickoff to the Vikings 45. Not a good sign for the Vikings if you’re any sort of believer in momentum.

1:03 -- Two pass interferences on the Vikings put the Eagles inside the 15-yard line.

1:03 -- Well, here’s another bit of bad news for the Vikings: besides the fans, the network and the announcers, the Gods are also against you. McNabb completed a pass to LJ Smith, who got to the three-yard line before Antoine Winfield tackled him. Winfield’s hit forced Smith to fumble, but it shot forward into the end zone and right into the hands of Freddie Mitchell for a touchdown. The ball didn’t even hit the ground – it shot in the air, past two Viking defenders who never saw it coming and right at Mitchell. Bar none the luckiest play I have ever seen in my life. This is the sort of dumb luck that makes you want to throw your laptop at the television and renounce the sport of football. Winfield made a great play and the ball should have gone right through the end zone, which would have given the ball to the Vikings. A terrible, terrible seven-point swing that the Vikings cannot afford.

1:14 -- The Vikings have been driving. Moore (have I mentioned this guy? I think he’s swell) had another sweet kickoff return. Moss caught a short pass, Sean Berton had a big gainer and Onterrio Smith caught a first down in the flat. The Vikings are now at the seven-yard line and need a touchdown.

1:16 -- Third and goal from the three….

1:17 -- Lot’s of pressure, incomplete. Dumb play call; if you’re going to pass inside the five-yard line, you need go to a play-action. The standard drop-back is never successful.

1:17 -- I have no idea what just happened. The Vikings faked a field goal, but when Frerotte took the ball from his placeholder position, he looked up and saw no receivers. No receivers. Moss was supposed to pretend to go off the field but stay on, but evidently he didn’t get the memo. It’s a shame too, because the Vikings would have had an easy TD. The Eagles are lucky we are playing so poorly.

1:20 -- Under-valued Play #2: the Eagles complete a pass to Todd Pinkston on third-and-four from deep in their own territory. Had the Vikings forced a Philly punt with over three minutes left, they would have had great field position with plenty of time to try to score before the half. As it stands, it seems the Vikings aren’t going to get the ball back with enough time to score. We’ll see.

1:22 -- As running back Josh Parry was trying to get out of bounds to stop the clock after a completion, he lost his footing and fumbled before rolling out of bounds. As he was rolling on the sidelines, Chris Claiborne recovered the ball. The Eagles challenged, of course, saying that Parry was out of bounds when he fumbled, or that he touched the ball while he was out of bounds. As I see it, Claiborne was definitely out of bounds before he picked it up and did not establish himself with both feet before picking up the ball. I’m guessing the ball will go back to the Eagles.

1:25 -- Unfortunately, I’m right. The Eagles have caught another break. They are up by 14, they have the ball with two minutes left in the half and they get the ball back at the start of the third quarter. McNabb has all day to throw, experiencing no pass rush. Three lucky breaks in one half, resulting in 14-point swing. The game could very easily be tied at 14. I’m getting crabby.

1:33 -- Under a minute left in the half and the Eagles still have a chance to score. They’ve been steadily moving the ball and are currently at the Vikings 30.

1:37 -- With ten seconds left and no timeouts remaining for the Eagles, McNabb completes a pass to Westbrook in the middle of the field with no chance to score. This mistake has left the score at 21-7. Halftime report: the Vikings were victims of a few tough breaks, and they’ve made some critical mistakes – I don’t know if they can come back from them. They’ll need to somehow develop a pass rush and figure out a way to get the ball downfield. And since the Vikings are notorious for their inability to make halftime adjustments…the forecast isn’t good.

1:52 -- And… we’re back! After shoveling in a Lean Pocket cracking open a Coke C2, I’m all set for a second half.

1:54 -- I was unaware that Freddie Mitchell was insane, but it has quickly become quite clear. After a low pass from McNabb, Mitchell tried to sell a catch to the referees, but they didn’t bite and called it incomplete. He immediately looked to the sidelines and told Andy Reid to throw the red flag. He was adamant that he made the catch, but the replays made it quite clear the ball bounced. He almost cost his team a challenge and a timeout, just for being an idiot. If I were the coach, I’d fine him.

1:59 -- On third-and-15, Daunte finds Moss for a huge first down. Under-valued Play #3 on the day. They’re now at midfield instead of having to punt on their first possession of the half.

2:01 -- The Vikings caught a break on an obvious fumble. Culpepper was winding back to pass when a defender knocked the ball loose, but since it flew forward the referees blew the play dead, eliminating any chance for a challenge. The Eagles still lead in the Good Fortune category by a commanding three-to-one margin.

2:05 -- Interception by the Eagles. My buddy Jason says, “This is when we usually start to self-destruct.” My uncle calls and claims that the game is over. This is the life of a Vikings fan. We have been burned so many times by our team that we’re scared to death. When things start to go south, it is second nature to jump ship. And we know when the game is over; it’s like a sixth sense. We turn the telly off and leave the room, only to venture back to the couch three minutes later to watch the game again. We claim to anyone within earshot that we’re only watching to see how ugly it will get. We say we’re hoping the Vikes lose so they’ll shake things up, fire the coach, get a better draft pick. We can’t even admit we’re cheering for the Vikings anymore. We think of the losses against Atlanta, New York and Arizona and wince with pain. Don’t envy us. We are Vikings fans and we are scarred for life.

2:19 -- Interception, Jeremiah Trotter. Bad pass by Daunte and Trotter was positioned perfectly. Culpepper was one of the only guys on offense playing with his head not up his ass, so if he starts making mistakes the Vikes are cooked.

2:22 -- Well, if the current play holds up the Vikings really are cooked. Freddie Mitchell, left wide-open, caught a pass and tried to go in for the score. He got hit by a couple defenders and was spun around near the goal line. As he was falling he stretched out and tried to reach the pigskin into the end zone. He fumbled either just before or just after crossing the goal line. If it was after, it’s a touchdown and a dagger in my heart. If it was before, the ball goes to the Vikings at the 20.

2:25 -- Vikings ball! Correct call by the referees, reversing the call that gave the Insane Freddie Mitchell a touchdown.

2:27 -- Two big pass plays (a wide-open Wiggins and flawless screen to Burleson) have put the Vikings at Philly’s 25-yard line. The outlook is still bleak, but at least we have something to cheer about. We’re still in this game.

2:28 -- Joe Buck just claimed that Philadelphia “literally” left three points on the field at the end of the first half. I’m speechless.

2:30 -- After a sack by the blitzing Brian Dawkins (one of the biggest plays of the game) the Vikings face a fourth-and-22.

2:31 -- The Vikings hopelessly decide to go for it and the desperate jump-ball to Moss falls incomplete. This was a tough decision for Tice, I suppose. They couldn’t attempt a field goal (48 yards is way too long) and couldn’t punt. It just wish the play-calling was stronger.

2:35 -- Fourth quarter. We need a miracle.

2:36 -- McNabb throws deep to Pinkston, covered by Ralph Brown (??). Brown is called for interference (a 46-yard mistake), which means the game is really over.

2:37 -- McNabb throws high in the end zone and it lands right in Brian Russell’s hands, who expectedly drops it. Under-Valued Play #4. Russell is another who belongs on the practice squad. This was our only hope to stay in this game. If Philly scores in any fashion, this game is toast.

2:39 -- 21-yard field goal by David Akers. 24-7 Philly with 13 minutes left.

2:45 -- Terrible three-and-out for the Vikes when they needed points. The Vikings will give the ball back to the Eagles after a one-minute possession. The real problem, though, is that the Vikings faced a fourth-and-two in the fourth quarter and decided to punt. Even though they were at their own 30-yard line, they had to go for it! Down 17 in the 4 th quarter? Punting at this point is an admission of defeat. Tice is basically telling the fans of Minnesota that he doesn’t want this one to get ugly. We’ll take a 17-point defeat, but we will not lose by 24! An absolutely horrendous coaching move, and I will never be convinced otherwise.

2:50 -- The Eagles have picked up a couple first downs and the clock shows under nine minutes remaining. I’m still not over the decision to punt. Even if we would have held the Eagles to a three-and-out, we would have gotten the ball back deep in our territory, down 17 with under 10 minutes left. A comeback of those proportions against the tight Philly defense would have been im-fucking-possible. Stupid, stupid, stupid decision by Tice. Playing like a weenie in the playoffs when you’re down big should cost you your job.

2:54 -- Easy chip shot field goal for Aker. It is now 27-7 Eagles.

3:02 -- Oh how the tables have turned. These Vikings are finally showing this Philadelphia defense what they’re made of. They have officially arrived, with a vengeance! The Vikes are in the midst of a grind-it-out, control-the-clock drive that rips defenses apart. It wears them to their knees and shows them who has the upper hand. Five yards here, seven yards there – we are truly picking this D apart. Oh, wait a minute. Hold on just a sec. We’re losing? THEN WHY DID WE WASTE FIVE MINUTES JUST TO GET TO MIDFIELD?! We haven’t thrown the ball downfield once. This is no time for a five-yard dump-off pass to the middle of the field. There are three minutes remaining and we’re down by 20 -- throw it deep or take a knee.

3:10 -- Well, the Vikings threw it deep and the result was a touchdown to Marcus Robinson. The play is being challenged because Robinson stepped out while still allegedly bobbling the ball. The point should be moot because, even if he did step out of bounds, he was clearly forced out. If this TD is reversed it will be the worst call of the season.

3:12 -- Challenge upheld, 27-14 Vikings. Too little, too late -- and most of the blame can go towards Tice. A poorly-executed fake field goal, weak play-calls on vital third and fourth downs, the decision to punt in the fourth quarter (reminder: they needed only two yards for a first down), not going deep until there were two minutes remaining in the game, not pulling EJ Henderson even though he single-handedly cost the Vikings two scores.

3:14 -- Freddie Mitchell recovers the onsides kick and the commentators mention how great he played today. I’m not sure these three jackasses are even watching the game. Freddie Mitchell has caught five catches. He was wide open on every single one of them, and even fumbled once. He screamed at his coaches to challenge an incomplete pass that he claimed – wrongly – he had caught. The MVP’s for this Eagles team today were Jeremiah Trotter – who was seemingly everywhere on D – and the entire offensive line. McNabb played well but wasn’t really challenged. The same goes for Westbrook. Freddie Mitchell – well, he did what every receiver in the league is expected to do: catch the ball when you’re open and run towards the end zone. Mitchell is completely average save one quality: he’s clinically insane.

3:21 -- Game over. My main hope for the offseason is for Red McCombs to sell the team to Glen Taylor. With a strong draft and two or three key free agent signings, who knows. More important: the Twins begin spring training in less than two months.

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