VIKINGS VS. PACKERS: A LIVE JOURNAL

By: B -- 1/9/05

The following is a running journal of the Vikings-Packers playoff game. Press REFRESH on your browser to see the latest update, which will likely be refreshed every few minutes.

3:31. Welcome to the first-ever live journal from B! A Vikings-Packers playoff game has never happened, making this a historical occasion, but unfortunately there is no other reason to be excited. While the Vikings have a supposed high-powered offense, they sputtered to an 8-8 record. While the Packers finished their season 9-2, they didn't win even one game against an opponent with a winning record. No matter how you spin it, these two teams are piss-poor. But whatever, it's playoff football and there's nothing else on the tube.

3:40. Onterrio Smith! A great opening kickoff return by the stocky running back, which is of course negated by a penalty.

3:43. Moe Williams! A too-easy 68-yard catch and run by the veteran, putting the Vikes up early 7-0. It is important to remember that the Packers defense is about as bad as the Vikings. Any play -- a draw, screen, slant, out, whatever -- can result in a touchdown.

3:48. Chris Claiborne! A sack by the overrated linebacker forces the Packers to punt. (I'll stop with the exclamation-point introductions as it is probably already wearing thin.) Anywho, I'd like to state that I am not worried about playing the supposed football God Brett Favre. This may come back to haunt me, but Favre is so clearly past his prime, and throws so many stupid passes, that I'm actually excited to see him on the opposite side of the field.

3:53. Touchdown to Randy Moss, a 20-yard lofted pass to the right corner of the end zone. The Vikings have opened up a 14-0 lead in just over 5 minutes. The Packers look dreadful today, but I'm sure the Vikings will soon look dreadful as well.

3:58. Brett Favre throws a perfect pass to Antoine Winfield. Turnover #1. Somewhere, John Madden has quietly begun sobbing. I can see him on a recliner, sipping on a scotch-and-soda and trying to discreetly wipe away the tears so his wife doesn't question him about his obvious love for a perpetually-stubbled quarterback from Wisconsin.

4:08. Fumble by Ahman Green, who luckily falls on it. The Packers are the new Vikings!

4:22. I can't be sure, but I think the Vikes just caught a break on their latest defensive stand. After a broken-up pass, the ball was tipped in the air and momentarily intercepted by Willie Offord. Right when he started running a Packer forced him to fumble. The Packers recovered but it was quickly ruled that the interception was actually an incomplete pass. This could have gone either way, but for the 2004 Vikes it seems that things like this have routinely gone in favor of the opponent. It's just been one of those years. So even though Green Bay ended up kicking a field goal, and even though they've quickly gotten the ball back with good field position, this feels like a good omen. But on the other hand, the Vikings are a bad football team. So you never know.

4:25. The Packers fumble for the second time (this time Najeh Davenport) but for the second time they recover. 100% luck.

4:27. Brett Favre throws a TD to a wide-open Bubba Franks, making the score 17-10. Here is a fun question to ask a Vikings fan: What is the worst part of the defense -- the D-line, the linebackers or the safeties? It's generally agreed that the cornerbacks are solid, but the other positions seem to be equally pathetic. My vote goes to the defensive line. By the way, this debate will usually end with Vikings fans holding their head in their hands while openly weeping. Not good times.

4:37. On a third-and-five, Culpepper runs for a crucial first down with about a half-dozen defenders bearing down on him. He has single-handedly kept the Vikings in games during the second half of the season. With our porous offensive line, Culpepper has had to handle more pressure than any other QB in the league.

4:41. Morten Anderson slips and falls while trying to kick a field goal. Early odds are 2 to 1 that he's suffered a broken hip. (Ha ha! Get it? A broken hip because he's so old. Funny, right? Never mind.)

4:44. The John Madden suicide watch has officially begun! Brett Favre throws another beautiful pass, this one to Brian Russell (who is not good). Good, good times.

4:46. Touchdown pass to Nate Burleson! Two plays after the pick, Burleson is left wide open on a post pattern. I'm curious why the Packers decided to use a nine-man defense. I'm no expert, but it seems that maybe they should play their safeties. Most other teams use them on every play, but then again what do I know.

4:59. The Vikings stop the Pack on a crucial third down, but after the play Lance Johnstone commits a 15-yard late hit penalty. What a moron. If we had forced a punt in that situation, we'd have had the ball back with good field position and about three minutes on the clock. The Vikes would have been guaranteed to finish the first half with no less than a 14-point lead, but as it stands the Packers are driving. And they get the ball at the start of the second half. This penalty by Johnstone may be looked at as a defining moment of this game.

5:03. Another third-down penalty on the Vikings, this one a bogus call on the stellar Antoine Winfield. He got penalized because he's quicker than Donald Driver. You tell me.

5:04. Oh. My. God. Brett Favre just ran for five yards beyond the line of scrimmage then decided to pass the ball. A completely stupid play, but since it has no real repurcussions the announcers are just laughing as if Favre threw the ball as a joke. What a funny, funny guy. Even when he's bad, commentators can't get enough of Brett Favre. It's inexplicable.

5:07. Ryan Longwell misses a chip shot just before the end of the half. 24-10 at halftime.

5:19. 12 minutes later, the second half is about to begin. I can't be sure, but it seems like halftimes used to last a lot longer, like at 20 minutes. Is it just me?

5:25. With 11:45 remaining in the third quarter, I am officially impressed with the play of the Vikings. The Purple have just made two impressive open-field tackles and, on third down, forced interception number three by Brett Favre. Ralph Brown picked it off. Yes, the famous Ralph Brown comes through again.

5:30. It's only fair to report that Chad Clifton and Javon Walker, arguably the two best offensive players on Green Bay, are out with injuries.

5:40. The last two possessions by the Vikings have been absymal. I don't think they've gained positive yardage in the second half. Green Bay's defense has been solid, but their offense has so far eliminated any chances of a victory.

5:42. Interception #4! While the announcers have tried to blame the other picks on the receivers ("We still love you, Brett!") this one was all Favre.

5:45. Big third-and-one at midfield for the Vikings...

5:46. First down, Onterrio Smith. This was another important play that probably won't be seen on the highlight reels.

5:52. Five fumbles today (3 for the Pack, 2 for the Vikes), all recovered by the offense. This game has suddenly turned rather boring.

6:02. While I was experiencing computer problems, the Packers scored on a short touchdown run by the fumble-happy Davenport. 24-17 Vikings. The Vikings offense has looked terrible this half, but one more score should be -- should be -- enough to win this game.

6:06. Randy Moss is hurt again, this time his ankle. Moss' legs are as dependable as Fred Taylor's groin. Bad times.

6:08. Huge third-and-six for the Vikings, converted by a short pass in the middle to Nate Burleson. Burleson is like a young Cris Carter, only without that pesky cocaine habit.

6:13. TOUCHDOWN RANDY MOSS. The Vikings have a 14-point lead with 10 minutes remaining in the game. While I am typing, Moss commits what Joe Buck calls a "classless act" while celebrating his TD, but I miss it because I'm looking at my computer screen.. Damn you, running journal!

6:20. After just one first down, the Packers are forced to punt. I am hoping there is no more scoring in this game so my "Under 51" bet goes through. I lost big-time gambling this weekend because the Jets upset the Chargers. One of the cardinal rules in gambling is "Never trust Marty Schottenheimer in the playoffs"... why did I ignore the rule?

6:21. Did you know that Jamie Foxx's real name is Eric Bishop? It's true; he changed it when he realized that women were getting preference for stand-up time at the local comedy clubs. The genderless stage name may be a reason for his discovery. (I'm pointing this out because not much is happening during the game. The Vikes are running the ball, trying to run the clock out.)

6:25. The Vikings just converted a third down with a screen pass to Onterrio Smith. They now have the ball at midfield with five minutes left, clock running. Cris Collinsworth made a good point in that the play call was rather predictable. I blame the coaches on this one, which is no surprise in that the Packers are routinely one of the worst-coached teams in the league.

6:28. Another first down by Smith, a 17-yard run effectively icing the game. How do you give up a 17-yard run when you know the other team is trying to run out the clock? Mike Tice looks like Vince Lombardi compared to his counterpart Mike Sherman. Yikes.

6:40. Game over, 31-17 Vikes. Their next game is against the Eagles, who the Vikings lost to in a 26-17 game that actually could have gone either way. Be sure to visit the WoB for another running journal. Until next time....

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