BREAKING NEWS: VIKINGS PLAYERS THROW BETTER PARTIES THAN YOU DO

By: B -- 10/11/05

The Vikings may be enduring a tough start to their season, but at least their 1-3 record isn't stopping them from piling into a couple of charter boats and having a group orgy on Lake Minnetonka.

Stephen Doyle, the attorney for the charter boat company, was interviewed this evening on Dan Barreiro's KFAN radio talk show. A few points Doyle revealed that aren't in the above article:

> There were 17 Vikings players on the two boats
> Staff members had to allegedly step over the orgies in order to fetch drinks for other partygoers
> Vikings players were openly receiving oral sex just a few feet from the boat captains
> When the boats docked at shore earlier than planned (the party was cut short because staff members were freaked out), one confused member of the Vikings actually asked one of the staffers if they were just docking so the women could switch boats. Read that sentence again. That just may be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Details of the goings-on will no doubt be revealed in the coming days, and I for one can't wait to learn more. This story -- at present time, a crazy yet harmless tale of consenting adults leaving their inhibitions ashore -- has already become the Greatest Minnesota Sports Scandal Of All Time. No question.

I have to say, Barreiro's interview with Doyle (a remarkably insightful and well-spoken gentleman, even when saying thigs like "orgy" and "girl-on-girl") was the most compelling radio interview I've ever heard in my life. Those twelve seconds when I lost my signal in the Lowry Tunnel were the longest twelve seconds in my life.

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