PUNK'D SEASON PREVIEW

By: B -- 12/6/05

For four years, the hit MTV show Punk’d, hosted by Hollywood partyboy Ashton Kutcher, has pulled off some of the most creative and daring celebrity pranks caught on camera. Recently a number of copycat shows have attempted to usurp Punk’d from its position as television’s tomfoolery leader. The Punk’d producers, determined to remain the authority of celebrity-hoaxing television shows, devised a number of pranks that will dwarf the irreverent audacity from the show’s previous years. Below are a few scenes that will appear in next season’s series.

1. John Travolta pulls into his driveway at his mansion in Beverly Hills, California. He sees his wife’s BMW in the driveway, along with a motorcycle. Travolta inspects the motorcycle (evidently unknown) for a few seconds before ambling inside his vast abode. Once inside he kicks off his loafers and calls for his wife, actress Kelly Preston. Preston does not respond. The eerie silence seemingly perturbs Travolta, who jogs up the winding staircase toward the French doors to his bedroom. When he walks inside he is shocked to see a long-haired biker dude in bed with his lovely wife. As the couple, presumably mid-coitus, jumps out of bed with a collective shriek, Travolta runs aggressively at the shirtless biker, but since the actor is unfortunately a few pounds overweight, the skinny biker dude is able to juke out Travolta, jump to the other side of the bed and wriggle free of Travolta’s grasp as he hustles down the stairs, with Travolta close behind. The biker puts on his helmet as he attempts to run out of the house, but Travolta grabs him and crushes a nearby lamp over his head. As the man, wearing only boxer shorts and a motorcycle helmet, crumples to the ground, Ashton jumps out of the closet and screams, “You got Punk’d, Barbarino!” Travolta, who had just picked up a golf club and was preparing to strike the adulterer in the back, breaks up into relieved laughter, fake strangling Ashton as the biker/actor gets up and offers his hand to Travolta. His wife, Preston, walks down the stairs in a luxurious robe and gives John a hug and a playful “don’t hate me!” look before giving a bow, deservedly proud of her in-prank acting. Ashton picks her up from behind and yells “That’s my girl!” repeatedly while Travolta shakes his head and laughs.

2. Reece Witherspoon pulls into a Hollywood gas station to fuel up her SUV. As she inserts the pump and waits for the refueling to commence, a gas station employee distracts her by “accidentally” dumping over the windshield wiper fluid display. As the bottles roll on the ground, Witherspoon walks over to help. But as she is assisting the clumsy employee, a man dashes out of another car and steals Witherspoon’s SUV, with her two adorable children inside. Witherspoon screams and unsuccessfully runs after the car as it speeds down the street. When she uses her cell phone to call 9-1-1, Ashton intercepts the call and answers using a falsetto voice, stuttering in an unhelpful yet hilarious manner. Witherspoon slams her phone to the ground and begs the station employee for help, but he (actually Ashton’s cohort Dax) pretends he doesn’t understand English. Just when she breaks down to her knees on the concrete in a desperate, helpless hump, Ashton comes running out from inside the gas station. Reece initially looks horrified but quickly turns playfully angry, trying to fake punch Ashton in the shoulder before he picks her up and slings her over his back, laughing uncontrollably. Reece, still over Ashton’s shoulder, looks into the camera and sheepishly gleams, “I got Punk’d!” The children are presumably returned after the show goes to commercial.

3. Esteemed actor Harrison Ford answers his front door to two policemen (actually Ashton’s representatives Marco and LJ) who reveal a search warrant to inspect Ford’s home. Ford, confused and clearly embarrassed, initially attempts to resist their entry but soon enough lets them inside as he is confident they’ll find nothing illegal. As they search through Ford’s pristine wood-paneled office, they look inside the top drawer in a closet bureau and find numerous (planted) DVDs containing graphic child pornography. Ford is promptly arrested and taken to a “jail cell” where he is shown a press conference (staged) detailing his arrest and the numerous pending charges. Ford collapses on the bed and places his head in his hands. His violent sobs can be heard throughout the building. We see a large pool of tears collect under Ford’s covered face as he repeatedly whispers, “why? Why?” Ashton then unlocks the cell and majestically reveals the prank. Ford’s face brightens up as he stands up and laughs, “No way!” and gives Ashton a big bear hug. Ford looks at the camera and says “Yup, I definitely got Punk’d” as Ashton, grinning ear-to-ear, gives the legendary actor bunny ears in the background.

4. (DVD ONLY) Tom Hanks is eating dinner with his wife of 18 years Rita Wilson. They are planning on heading to a friend’s house after dinner (the Spielbergs), but as they’re heading out of the restaurant parking lot, we hear Rita telling Tom (via the planted in-car microphone) that she is suddenly feeling ill and wants to head home. Tom agrees and turns the car around, mentioning that maybe it was something they ate since he suddenly feels sick as well. Hanks and Wilson spend the majority of the next 12 hours in separate bathrooms, falling violently ill with an embarrassing bout of diarrhea (all caught on tape). The next day, as the couple is still feeling queasy but on the road to recovery, a UPS package is delivered to their home. Hanks opens the package to find a bottle of Pepto Bismol and a “get well soon” card signed by Ashton. In the P.S. at the bottom of the card, Ashton writes “look outside your front window.” Hanks complies and sees Ashton and the crew standing in his front yard, giggling and clapping each other on the back. Hanks, still in his sweats, calmly heads outside and punches Ashton squarely in the jaw before gingerly sauntering inside and shutting the door behind him.

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