this boob loves the tube

By: B -- 9/18/06

The weather is getting cooler. The days are getting shorter. Football season has begun. School is in session. I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night.

These are things that I cannot deny.

It’s time to face facts: summer is officially over. The news depresses me for a number of reasons. Not only do I loathe the frigid temps, not only do I dig late sundowns, not only was this past summer perhaps the best of my life, but on top of it all, fall always reminds me of the college years I so dearly miss. Hence, the long crying jags. This is a difficult time for me. Please try to understand.

But try as I might, despite the crying and whining and weeping and moaning, nothing is going to stop time. And instead of the incessant bellyaching that usually dominates my fall season demeanor, this year I’ve decided to embrace my favorite part of autumn. Is it the changing colors in nature, the cool breeze, the stellar fishing, the serene Sundays?

Nah. It’s TV.

I confess: I love television. Probably more than you do.

I’m not even embarrassed to admit it. Not anymore. With the emergence of DVD sales making television series as potentially lucrative as movies, the quality of programming has skyrocketed in recent years. No longer is television considered a sub par alternative to film. A-list directors, writers, producers and actors have flocked to television shows, and if you ask me, television has never been better.

Which is why I plan on watching a helluva lot of it. After all, what else is there to do during the increasingly-cold months ahead? Exercise? Read? Work late? Please. Don’t kid yourself. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch ‘til April.

So, with that out of the way, the real issue at hand is: what am I going to watch? There’s an abundance of options this season, and one can’t just flip channels all willy-nilly anymore. ‘Tis a new day and age. You have to plan ahead, discuss with friends, read season previews, consult schedules, set your TiVos, devote your time. If you’re as lazy as I am, the process can be quite taxing.

Luckily I have loads of free time and no life. So I’ve created a list of shows I plan on watching this season.

The Office (premiere Thursday 9/21, 8:30/7:30)

Anyone who’s seen even one episode of BBC’s The Office will tell you that the American version has never – and will never – come close to being as good. That is true.

With that out of the way, NBC’s The Office is my favorite show on television. The format borrowed from the British version – documentary style, no laugh track – lends itself to quality programming. Even the first few episodes of the first season, by far the worst shows of the series, were better than the standard sitcom crap found elsewhere. Then, of course, the show got increasingly better throughout the first and second seasons, culminated with the season-ending smooch between Jim and Pam (which I thought came too early in the series, but was dramatic nonetheless).

There are two main reasons why The Office is the best show on television:

1. Abundance of characters. The show has almost a dozen characters that appear on a regular basis, rare for American comedies. I don’t know if you credit guts (trusting the audience can keep up with the numerous character arcs) or writing talent, but the technique works. Each show is fresh, every character developed and unique.

The oddest part of this whole lots-of-characters-is-a-good-thing theory is that the two comedies generally noted as the best ever – Seinfeld and The Simpsons – employed more characters than any other show. Think back to the final Seinfeld episode that trotted out every bit character in the show’s history. Tons of ‘em. And The Simpsons … from Smithers to Barney to Comic Book Guy to Duffman (“Duffman! Can’t Read!”), there are too many to count.

On the other hand, one can look no further than Friends for an example of the opposite end of the spectrum. Friends rarely branched out beyond the original circle of pals, and the show – which was actually really good in the beginning – got stale in a hurry. Really stale. We’re talking a “one of the best shows on TV” to “complete and utter embarrassment for everyone involved” decline.

Instead of branching outside the group to find these six single friends someone to date, they lazily decided to go the incestuous route. Ross dates Rachel, Chandler dates Monica, Joey likes Rachel, Rachel likes Joey, Ross and Rachel have a kid … I’m still amazed we never saw Ross and Monica hook up.

But enough about Friends. Point is, the ability to incorporate numerous characters into a show is rare and valuable, and I’m glad The Office has been able to pull it off.

2. The Jim-Pam relationship. Obviously, this is everyone’s favorite storyline. I am no different. Not because it’s such a uniquely developed friendship/relationship, but because it’s such tired concept, that the fact it comes off as original is a sign of intelligent writing. Think for a moment: how many times have you seen the story of a girl forced to decide between the dick boyfriend and the caring guy friend? It’s the most common storyline in the world; the scenario is as played-out as Brokeback Mountain jokes.

Far as I’m concerned, The Office is the only story that’s genuinely pulled it off. For one thing, it’s subtle. The tension between Jim and Pam is marked by sideways glances, awkward questions and throwaway comments. It’s an indirect attraction.

Another factor that helps this scenario climb from “stale” to “fascinating” is that it’s two-sided. We aren’t subjected to the sniveling friend hounding the girl to break up with her man until he finally catches her in a moment of weakness and breaks her down. That tension, that magnetism, that something, is felt by Pam as well, which makes it all the more believable. Let’s hope the dynamic isn’t ruined in season three.

My Name is Earl (premiere Thursday 9/21, 8:00/7:00)

I didn’t see a single episode of My Name Is Earl during its initial run last season. I actually discovered the show this summer, after TiVoing a few episodes to see what the fuss was all about. And I dug it. It will be one of three shows (included with the shows listed before and after this one) to which I’m devoting a Season Pass.

I have nothing interesting to point out regarding why I like the show so much. The clever concept allows the show to feel fresh throughout, even though the format (Earl picks out a duty on his list, it’s difficult to complete but all ends well) remains static. The redundant format might get old in a hurry (The Home Improvement Effect), but for now, I dig the show’s originality, the formative spirit and, most of all, Jamie Pressley.

Plus, you have to love a show created by a guy (Greg Garcia) who, during his Emmy speech, ended his list of people he wasn’t going to thank with, “And finally, God. I am sure you are responsible in some way, but you took my hair and that's not cool, man.”

The O.C. (premiere Thursday 11/2, 9:00/8:00)

My inexplicable obsession with The O.C. has been well-documented. And, just so you know, I’ve been teased incessantly by everyone in my life about it, so you can save your breath. Think I’m pathetic? Think I’m immature? Think I’m lame? I’ve heard it all before.

I will say this: I usually claim to dig The O.C. as a guilty pleasure, but in the same breath I’d defend its smart writing (the successful creation of plausible scenarios in the teen drama genre is nearly impossible), light-hearted spirit (for the most part the show doesn’t take itself too seriously) and the music.

Ah, the music. It’s as good as anything you’ll find on the radio or satellite, and if you refuse to listen to me, know that even the typically stodgy NPR noted the show as being, "a showcase for new music that’s fallen under the mainstream radar." Dig those soundtracks.

Also, let us not forget Rachel Bilson. Her character Summer Roberts is one of those fictional women who are so perfect they ruin real women for me. She is so rub-your-eyes hot, so funny, so spunky and so, I don’t know, cool, that trying to find a real-life comparison is downright impossible. I should just stop looking. But seriously: the fictional existence of Summer Roberts continues to make my life more difficult.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (premiere Monday 9/18, 10:00/9:00)

I never watched a single episode of The West Wing (I don’t do television dramas), but I do know it was lauded as superlative programming. Creator Aaron Sorkin’s new project, Studio 60, has been given generous reviews thus far, and the money cast has further piqued my interest. I expect a well-written comedy, high on the cleverness if low on the laugh-out-loud one-liners.

I realize comedy is a helluva lot harder to pull off than drama, and that Sorkin’s initial foray into the ha-ha was Sports Night, which was never really as funny as it should have been. But Sorkin knows character development, and even though I rarely laughed during Sports Night, I never flipped the channel when it was on. And if I was satisfied with that, I’m betting a more experienced Sorkin will be able to improve with Studio 60.

30 Rock (premiere Wednesday 10/11, 8:00/7:00)

I’m giving this new show a three-episode tryout. The consensus seems to be giving 30 Rock a subdued thumbs-up, with only a few offering enthusiastic rave reviews. But despite SNL’s nosedive when Tina Fey was the head writer, I still think she’s whip-smart and genuinely funny. Like I’ve said before, I blame Dr. Evil Lorne Michaels for the once-relevant show’s demise.

And you know what, I’ve seen the clips, and 30 Rock looks sorta conventionally/conveniently funny – but I’ll still watch a show even if it’s just so-so. I just ask for a few laughs and a plausible storyline. And I think we could all use a little more Alec Baldwin in our lives.

In essence, all I’m asking for is a show to make me temporarily forget about missing summer. Do that, and I'm all yours.

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