We’re like dual Pete Roses, with slightly better haircuts

morneau.jpgSince I’m knee-deep in higher priorities right now (mostly work-, fatigue- and mourning-over-Haley- related), I’ll simply relay to you a season-long Twins bet I’ve made with my roommate, the infamous Spoon. 

It goes a little somethin’ like this: Spoon and I agree upon an over/under line for the Twins impact players (average for hitters, ERA for chuckers), and each of us take a side. Instances in which we both wanted the same side were settled “every other” style. $5 per, a total of $85 on the line.The results are as follows:

HITTERS (B’s “overs” in bold)

Luis Castillo: .300

Little Nicky Punto: .260

Baby Jesus Mauer: .335

Cuddy Bear: .290

Big J Morneau: .310

T-Nuts Hunter: .270

J Kubes: .275

Rondell White: .260

Jay Bartlett: .290

PITCHERS (B’s “unders” in bold)

Johan Cytana: 2.85

BOOF: 4.50

Ramon Ortiz: 5.00

Carlos Silva: 5.00

Sids Ponson: 5.00

Matty Garza: 4.50

Pat Neshek: 2.50

Joe Nathan: 2.00

Any thoughts, opinions on the strongest team, issue with our lines? Feel free to leave your woo-hoo’s and f-you’s in the comments. Or you can just forget this self-indulgent post ever happened and check back later for some useful and/or entertaining content.

Yeah. Do that.

(end)

In: Sports @ WednesdayApr 11,2007 8 Comments

8 Responses for "We’re like dual Pete Roses, with slightly better haircuts"

  1. Scootman April 11th, 2007 at 10:33 pm

    As much as I loath to agree with B, I have to think he has this sewn up. Who picked the numbers? Did it happen like this

    B: Punto is a “flash in the pan” and he won’t hit over .265

    Spoon: He is fucking awesome and now that he is playing everyday, he might win the batting title.

    B: Your an idiot.

    Spoon: I’ll bet you he hits over .265.

    B: You’re on.

    If I made Spoon look like an idiot (i.e-win batting title, hit over .265) it is only because he kinda is.

    Go Twins.

    Scootman (aka cool rut)

    P.S.-I still will take the Silva, Ponson, Ortiz win a combined 25 games that you scoffed at earlier this year.

  2. norm April 12th, 2007 at 7:07 am

    Rut, I like how you wrote “your an idiot” and in the next sentence “you’re on” – did you have an epiphany?

    If Morneau hits above .285, I’ll be surprised.

    Boof’s ERA will hover around 5, and the rest of your pitchers also won’t cover (besides Santana and maybe Neshek). Spoon is going to take your money like a whore on Hennepin.

  3. Brandon April 12th, 2007 at 7:38 am

    Dammit Norm, I told you already: I THOUGHT SHE WAS A CAB DRIVER. That’s why I forked over all my dough. And the only reason I had my pants unbuttoned was because I was super hot and trying to cool down.

  4. Scootman April 12th, 2007 at 8:24 am

    Norm, no epiphany. I always write fast and uncensored. Even though I am really good at it, writing is not my strongest form of communication. That being said, I think the reason that I make errors of that type is because grammar rules`are not fully ingrained. If I proofread anything, you wouldn’t see my idiotness.

    What is my strongest form of communication you ask? I have none. But I do the silent affirmation well. The head nod with a few twists, like a raised brow or curled lip.

  5. norm April 12th, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Rut, while I don’t condone your blatant disregard for proofreading, kudos to you for expressing yourself and understanding things without words. You should give some pointers to B. “Thought she was a cab driver?” What a cab driver with no car? And when she offered you a ride … old-school piggyback? You continue to blow my mind.

  6. Spoon April 12th, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    I am a firm believer that Nicky Punto will in fact not win the batting title. If you didn’t notice I have the under in that category. I will win the money as well as the heart of Bs Step Dad Andy.
    Spoon

  7. Scootman April 12th, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    I think you got the heart. You would seal the deal if you married Brooke and made him an empty-nester. You know B will keep trying to hold on to Andy’s heart by asking for a fishing reel for chirstmas or claiming to like fishing.

    I have a hunch B’s love of fishing is a ploy to keep you and Andy close. I still giggle when I recall the time he said he was a good fisherman. “Really, I am. After my stepdad finds the spot, ties on my lure, reminds me to open the bailer before casting, I always catch fish” He even had a little high-pitched tone in his voice like he was pleading for us to believe in him. HILARIOUS.

    Tommy, I am sorry I picked on you. I meant it in an affectionate, loving way. You’re the greatest.

  8. Brandon April 12th, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Erroneous! I am a great fisherman and am afraid of no fish-related tasks.

    I once took a shot of gin with a live minnow in it.


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