World of B

I’m not going to provide my reasoning for seeing these two movies, but rest assured I didn’t have much choice in the matter. (Hipster reputation: upheld.)

TALK TO ME

Premise: The story of Washington D.C. radio personality Ralph “Petey” Greene, an ex-con who became a popular talk show host and community activist in the 1960s.

All you need to know: Um, it’s the story of a disc jockey? And it’s not particularly funny or inspirational? This is further proof that the film industry has plumb run out of creativity. A movie about a local radio personality. Shouldn’t happen. Only see Talk to Me if you’ve seen every other biopic ever made.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY

Premise: Two straight, single Brooklyn firefighters (Sandler, James) pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits.

All you need to know: Kevin James plays one of the best firefighters in the N-Y-C. Adam Sandler is a renowned playboy, at one time engaging in an orgy with five Hooters chicks and a doctor. Ving Rhames plays a flamboyant homo. Dave Matthews plays a flamboyant homo. David Spade plays a cross-dresser. Rob Schneider plays an Asian (Asian!) wedding chapel minister. And in the biggest stretch, Jessica Biel plays a woman who would be attracted to Adam Sandler. I can forgive implausibility, but not if it’s coupled with unfunny scene upon unfunny scene. I don’t know one person who would enjoy this movie.